Dear Australian cricketers, please, come closer. We need to talk.
Umm, it's not you. It's me. And millions of others intimately involved in this affair.
Yes, you have thrilled and excited. There have been extended periods where we can't take our eyes off you.
Things are particularly rosy when we close our eyes and think of England.
And when the Indians join us, it certainly spices up.
News that makes sense
Your trusted source for staying up-to-date with the world around you. Get free daily news updates and analysis, straight to your inbox.
Yes, there have been ups and downs. Pleasure and pain. Rocky patches here and there. What long-term relationship doesn't?
But surely you can tell. Things have turned a bit stale of late. You have become, sorry to say, a tad boring.
Yes, you're just doing your thing - and we don't want to cramp your style, and we understand that change is married to uncertainty.
But - it's not about you, it's me. And millions of others.
We need more. And, to be blunt, more on our terms, not yours.
Which is why we're embracing this change; why we can't wait for our next date in Adelaide from Friday.
Yes, you're saying all the right things.
Your - our - captain Steve Smith says "it's a great concept".
Your - our - spinner Nathan Lyon says "there's no point sitting here whingeing about it".
Your - our - new opener Joe Burns says "you have to have an open mind ... and just accept there will be challenges".
But we sense they may just be sweet nothings.
When we look deep into your eyes, we see some worry.
We sense you're seeing red, over pink.
You're worried the bright lights will show up your foibles; that we will see your wrinkles, warts and all.
You're worried you may not look your best under the lights; that those of you who rely on wielding a willow for a living may not appear as smooth as we thought you did; that your much-coveted averages may suffer and turn, well, average.
But remember, this isn't about you. It's about me. It's about us, those that live outside of your bubble and, dare we say, in the real world.
Our world is busy. And getting busier. We no longer have the time to commit to you, day after day.
We need some night-time passion to rekindle our love affair. We need to see you in a different light.
Then, we might be tickled pink with you again.
