SOME DONALD TRUMP JOKES AT THE GRIDIRON DINNER:
* On Jared Kushner
"I would like to apologise for arriving a little late. We were a little late because Jared could not get through security."
* On Mike Pence
"The other day we were in line shaking hands with men and women. A woman came over to shake his hand and he said, 'I'm sorry. I can't do that. My wife is not here.'"
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"Mike is doing a fantastic job as Vice President. Could not do better. I really am proud to call him, The Apprentice."
"Lately, it bothers me. He is showing a particularly keen interest in the news these days. He starts out each morning asking everyone, 'Has he been impeached yet?'"
* On Steven Mnuchin's wife Louise Linton
"When she asked whether or not she could sign the money also, I said, 'Steve, you got a lot to handle."
"America has a proud history of Treasury Secretaries who sponsor the arts. Alexander Hamilton gave us so much. Andrew Mellon gave us the National Gallery. Steve has given us the blockbuster movie Lego Batman."
* On Jeff Sessions
"Attorney General Sessions is here with us tonight, and it is a weird deal. I offered him a ride over, and he recused himself."
* On CNN
"CNN lost a tremendous amount of credibility this year. They also lost one of their true stars, the guy who got you the most scoops, inside info, and really the very best reporter. There was nobody like him. Steve Bannon."
* On Steve Bannon & Omarosa
"We just lost our chief strategist. It's pretty tough. But somehow, we are still doing great without Omarosa. I always knew, some day you are going to fire her. Is that the worst, by the way? Omarosa, you are the worst. I stuck up for her for years and now I say, "They were all right."
* On Oprah Winfrey
"She said she would only run [for president] if she gets the go-ahead from the Almighty. All right, Oprah. Go ahead."
