Every four years it rolls around and every four years we get to out rate ABC2!
I am of course talking about the World Cup and starting this Friday you get all the magic, all the madness, all the misogyny, right here on SBS.
You see, SBS has been showing The World Cup since before many of us were born.
Things were different in the 1990s and by things we mean Les Murray.
It turned out screening that one competition followed by a lot of raunchy European cinema turned SBS into the home of Sex Before Soccer.
Well, we call it football... but anyway it’s what we’re known for, which is why every four years, we like to spend money we don’t have on superfluous things like football shaped chairs, fake grass, football shaped beanbags, and random objects that we can't identify.
All to boost employee moral about hosting the greatest sporting event on Earth.
So what is about the World Cup that makes it such a big deal?
To answer that question we asked football aficionado slash silver fox, Craig Foster.
But his cardboard cut out wasn't saying much so let's move on.
Since it began in 1930, The World Cup has had more bums on seats, than a park bench.
In fact around 1 billion people tuned in to the 2010 final to watch nothing happen for almost two hours.
Until something did and the team in black won.
This year is going to be even bigger because both the orange (Netherlands) and black (Spain) teams are back and so are the big players like Lionel Messi, that guy who goes out with Shakira, Cristiano Ronaldo, and another Ronaldo... probably.
And it’s all happening in the naked party capital of the universe, Brazil.
Boobs and buns aside, Brazil’s got a lot to offer this fine sport.
Did you know, it’s the only country ever to have qualified for every World Cup? And it’s the most successful, having won five times.
Imagine the elation, the joy, the pride of your country winning the World Cup.
Now stop imagining it because it’s not gonna happen. Australia is in the first round with Spain, Chile and the Netherlands. We’re probably not going to win dudes.
But every few years come the qualifications where we undertake the uncomfortable process of preparing for the worst but hoping for the best. We come out okay, glad we did it, maybe wishing we didn’t have to do it again but knowing we will.
It’s the pap smear of sport and it culminates in a sense of optimism unless you’re diagnosed with cancer.
But assuming your not, this is it, your chance to show the world that you mean it, that you’re ready, that you’re on the front line, that waka waka.
I’m just quoting Sharika now…who by the way has another official song this year and if that’s any indication of how the World Cup will go, the next few weeks are gonna be horrible.
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