The build up to any grand final for a sports fan is a great experience, and the lead up to the 2017 NRL grand final did not disappoint. It was just the third time that my North Queensland Cowboys had survived through to the ultimate game. Even though we had the Mt Everest of opponents - the Melbourne Storm - in front of us, I was quietly confident.
This year had a distinctly different feeling thrown into the usual mix of excitement and that healthy nervousness that comes with such an occasion. As a gay rugby league fan, I was closely following the controversy around the pre-game entertainment choice by the NRL. How could Macklemore singing a former number one hit, "Same Love", generate so much hate? Sure, it also created support and love but in a time where your human rights are being thrashed out in a very public and dehumanising way, I could not escape those unmistakable feelings of worry, anxiety and sadness.
Two things got me through. First, Benjamin Haggerty, AKA Macklemore. He is a beacon for the LGBTI+ community not only in America, but worldwide. I still remember the way I felt when I first heard "Same Love", an unmistakable statement about equality and love. It’s one of those songs that will always give my goosebumps when I hear it. How could a straight hip hop artist describe my experience in a song that lasts only a few minutes?
The other thing was the NRL. The peak body of (to me) the greatest game on Earth standing strong on their decision to publicly position themselves as an organisation that not only accepts diversity but celebrates it. In a time when the LGBTI+ community are hanging by a thread, the NRL has made a stand to support the LGBTI+ community and not been bullied or intimidated by politicians or those who don’t think sport is a place to promote inclusion.
While sitting on the train to ANZ Stadium last week, the nerves were intense. More than I wanted the Cowboys to win, I wanted the crowd of 80,000 to embrace the NRL and their stance of inclusion. From experience, this hasn’t always had the best reception in the sporting arena. So much of my coming out story is attached to my life as a Rugby League player and fan.
I’m not sure I was mentally present for the curtain-raiser games. I was too busy scanning the crowd to gauge them for what sort of reception Macklemore was going to get. Being all judgey, I landed on the decision that it wasn’t going to be great.
I was seated in the Cowboys supporter’s bay and as the stage was being assembled for Macklemore’s performance, the nerves kicked in. I was psychologically preparing myself for the boos that would surely follow.
I feel like I’ve experienced everything in Rugby League, as a player, a coach and a spectator but this was something else. This was the National Rugby League saying ‘we see you, we respect you and this is for you’. As the unmistakeable intro to "Same Love" reverberated through ANZ Stadium I felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. It didn’t matter if people booed now: this was a moment I was going to savour.
I waited for the boos, and they never came.
Instead, Macklemore was drowned out by tens and thousands of cheering Rugby League fans. Not only did they cheer, but they sang. Every. Single. Word. They pointed to the big screens that said “We Stand For Equality” and they applauded. I was able to experience Rugby League as my true self for the first time.
I felt like I had won, before the Grand Final had even kicked off.
