There you are, front and centre, nose squished to glass, eyes bigger than a layer cake.
"What can I get for a dollar?" you ask the bakery server.
"Well, you can get a neenish tart, a small hedgehog slice or two crackles," she says.
Oh, the humanity! What to choose?
Of course, you choose the crackles, because two are always better than one. But wouldn't it be nice to have them all?
Let's have them all.
Despite persistent rumours, the very-sweet, very-Aussie neenish tart is not named after home cook Ruby Neenish from Grong Grong. The origin of the bi-colour icing shortbread tart is sketchy at best. Someone, somewhere in Australia once made a shortbread pastry, filled it with jam (perhaps) and iced it 50/50. So, the who is unknown, but the why has been answered for generations in one, big sugar-fused bite.
If your bakery made a continental slice, you were winning. Not quite as popular as the snot block or hedgehog, getting your hands on a continental was slim pickings in some suburbs. When you found one, you sucked the custard out from between the chocolate layers, opened your mouth and showed your brother. What can you say? A layer of custard makes people do strange things.
Peppermint and chocolate have had our hearts, since forever. Or at least since we first bit into a peppermint slice at the bakery, then promptly ordered another one.
The icing-topped bread roll known as the finger bun is still going strong in bakeries across Australia. It's the treat a parent can kid themselves is 'fairly healthy comparatively' but kids know what's what.
Bake your own
Packet-mix finger buns
Apart from the bakery, growing up the lamo was strictly for the lamington drive only. You know the one: everyone's mum was roped into making six dozen lamingtons to add to the pile. The kitchen was brimming with a sponge, runny chocolate and coconut and the whole family had to pull an all-nighter to get the job done. Ah, good times.
The easy-to-make, easy-to-eat old-school favourite that never goes out of style. If you ever attended a birthday party in the '70s, '80s and '90s that didn't serve chocolate crackles, you can bet the birthday 'kid' was over 40. Or maybe they served this version instead:
The king/queen/emperor of childhood memories. Go ahead, call the vanilla slice a snot rag, you still can't hurt it.
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Around the world in vanilla slice
Why is this bakery fave called a hedgehog slice? Apart from the fact that it doesn't even remotely resemble a small furry mammal, we don't even have hedgehogs in Australia... We'll just have to chalk it up to being another slice of mystery (looking at you, Neenish).
Fair warning: this Moroccan rocky road is not like your average bakery version. It's infused with Frangelico so that rules out the 'childhood favourite' tag immediately. It's also brimming with candied orange, almonds, dark chocolate and espresso - so, yeah, you definitely want to start a new tradition with this one. Or make the more standard version here:
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Richo’s rocky road
This stuff either cleaved out a baby tooth or got stuck in your braces. Either way, it was worth it. So were these, though did anyone ever actually eat the apple?:
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Toffee apples
The caramel slice - or millionaire's shortbread if you add peanuts - is one rich hit of memory-inducing nostalgia. Some might even call it a cloying hit, but they weren't there.
After the sweet life of toffee, continental or (heavens') caramel slice, we want the wobble of a comforting jelly. Light and not overly sweet, it's the perfect little nostalgia hit to have with your afternoon cuppa. Look at the two-toned delights and it's an absolute cinch to make at home.
Bakery hit
Baklava vanilla slice
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