#103 Talking about online dating (Med)

Learn everyday English phrases for online dating. Practise expressions like “match,” “ghosted,” and “slide into DMs” while improving your speaking skills.

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This lesson is suitable for intermediate-level learners. After listening, test your knowledge with our quiz.

Learning notes:

Examples of phrases you can use when talking about online dating:

• I’m back on the apps again. 
• I’ve matched with someone. 
• We’ve been chatting for a few days.  
• Anyone catch your eye? 
• Has anyone caught your attention? 
• Is there someone you like? 
• Is there a spark? 
• Any chemistry? 
• She’s sliding into my DMs a lot.  
• I’m taking it slow. 
• I’m being careful this time. 
• I don’t want to rush into anything. 
• I got burned last time. 
• Someone ghosted me. 

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Colloquial expressions:

To catch someone’s eye is to interest them. If somebody or something catches your eye, it means they look interesting or attractive.

To match with someone, means that both of you have liked each other on a dating app.

To swipe right on someone’s profile in a dating app shows that you like them. If they swipe right too, then it becomes a match.

To sliding into someone’s DMs means to send them private messages, often casually or in a playful, flirtatious way.

To get burned means to be hurt or disappointed in the past, usually because someone has not treated you well.

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Vocabulary:

To be back to doing something is to return to something or to doing something that you had stopped doing

Chemistry between people is when they get along together well and feel some attraction for each other.

A spark is a little flash of attraction or connection between two people.

Flirtatious means showing a playful or romantic interest in someone.

To ghost someone is to stop replying to their messages or disappear from their lives without explanation.

To give something a go is to try something.

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Learning focus:

Sometimes in informal conversation we leave out the verbs that would be there if we were writing. Claire does this when she says:

• Anyone catch your eye? (in writing we would put ‘did anyone catch your eye?)

And again when she says,

• Any chemistry? (In writing we would say ‘is there any chemistry?)

Transcript: 

(Note: This is not a word-for-word transcript)

SBS acknowledges the Traditional Custodians of Country and their connections and continuous care for the skies, lands, and waterways throughout Australia.

You’re single, busy, and ready to meet someone new. Online dating seems like an easy place to start, so you download an app and see what happens next. Very quickly, you notice that online dating has its own language - words and phrases you need to get used to.

Hi, I’m Josipa. In this episode, I’ll share all the new expressions and phrases I’ve learned over the past few months since I started using a dating app.

As always. Allan and Claire are here to guide us. Let’s hear how they talk about online dating.

Allan

I’m back on the apps again.

Claire

Really? Anyone catch your eye?

Allan

I’ve matched with someone, and we’ve been chatting for a few days.

Claire

Nice! Any chemistry?

Allan

It’s early days. She’s sliding into my DMs a lot, but I’m taking it slow. I got burned recently when someone ghosted me.

In my experience, dating apps are really confusing, and then there’s the language! Phrases like sliding into my DMs or being ghosted made things even more difficult for me. So, let’s take a closer look at what Allan and Claire just said.

First, we heard Allan,

I’m back on the apps again.

So, when Allan says he’s back on the apps again, he means he’s using dating apps again after taking a break.

To be back to doing something is to return to something or to doing something that you had stopped doing. You can use this expression in a lot of different situations — anytime you return to something you had stopped doing, like a hobby, a class, or even watching a TV show.

Maybe you’ve taken a break from learning English over the holidays? If you did, we’re glad to have you back listening to this podcast! You could say "I’m back learning English".

Claire then said,

Really? Anyone catch your eye?

Here, Claire is asking if Allan has noticed someone he likes. if something or someone catches your eye it means that they look interesting or attractive. You can use this phrase for things, not just people. For example, a book or a movie can catch your eye if it grabs your attention.

You could also say:

• Has anyone caught your attention?
• Is there someone you like?

Allan replied,

I’ve matched with someone, and we’ve been chatting for a few days.

If you match with someone on a dating app, it means that both of you liked each other. On a dating app, you might ‘like’ each other by swiping right or tapping on a ‘like’ button. And when both of you have ‘liked’ each other, then you are matched and getting a match is usually the first step before you can start chatting (sending messages) to someone.

You could also say:

• Someone I liked me back on the app.

here’s that word ‘back’ again! Here is just means that you ‘liked’ someone and then they ‘liked’ you.

On many dating apps, you swipe on someone’s profile to show if you’re interested. Swiping left means you’re not interested, while swiping right means you like the person.

Next Claire said something really useful that can be used to ask about a relationship. She said:

Nice! Any chemistry?

Here, Claire wants to know if Allan and the person he matched with seem to get along well. In dating, if two people have chemistry, that that they seem to have an attraction for each other and to have made a good understanding of each other. You can also use chemistry in other situations, like at school or work, to talk about how well people work together. For example, I have great chemistry with my team here at SBS Learn English, which means that we all get on well together.

You could also ask:

• Is there any spark?

A spark is like a small flash of excitement or chemistry between two people — it shows that there is interest or energy in the relationship.

At the end of our dialogue Allan said,

She’s sliding into my DMs a lot, but I’m taking it slow — got burned last time someone ghosted me.

Let’s divide this phrase into two parts. First let’s explain,

She’s sliding into my DMs a lot.

First, a DM is short for “direct message” and it usually means a personal message between people on some kind of app. You can just say DM. It’s informal, casual, and often used for talking with friends.

Now, if someone is sliding into someone’s DMs on a dating app it means they are sending private messages to them

Now, the second part of Allan’s answer was,

I’m taking it slow — I got burned recently when someone ghosted me.

If you take it slow, it means you don’t want to rush anything.

You could also say:

• I’m being careful this time.
• I don’t want to rush into anything.

They all mean the same thing. Allan also said,

I got burned recently when someone ghosted me.

There are two interesting words to learn here. First, to be burned. is an informal way of saying that you have been hurt in the past. Haven’t we all been burned at least once in our lives?

Next, to be ghosted means that someone has suddenly stopped replying to messages or has disappeared without explaining why. It’s not very polite and can be very hurtful, but it is also really common in online dating. Poor Allan has been hurt by someone in the past who didn’t treat him well.

Dating isn’t always easy. But learning the phrases around them is not so bad, right? And as you’ve heard, many of them can be used in lots of situations, not just dating.

With Valentine’s Day coming, I’m hoping you’ll be able to try out these new expressions!

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Paul Nicholson and Lily O'Sullivan voiced the characters of Allan and Claire, and Professor Lynda Yates was our educational consultant.