Highlights
- Kasama sa 'hidden work' ang mga responsibilidad gaya ng pag-schedule ng appointments, pagkalma sa mga anak na nagta-tantrum at pag-homeschool habang may lockdown.
- Kadalasang masyadong busy ang mga ina sa pag-aasikaso sa pamilya na di nila naiisip na ang kanilang mga sarili.
- Mahalaga any mga lalaki sa pagpapalit ng mindset ukol sa hidden work.
"Mum has the important role of homemaker, manager of appointments, band-aid put-ter," tawa ng Sydney-based psychologist na si Aimee Santos.
"Mum is in charge of hidden work like these that allow the home to run properly."
Kadalasan, napupunta pa rin sa mga nanay ang unaccounted work gaya ng pag-aalaga sa anak na may sakit at pagpaplano ng kakainin.
Si nanay lagi
"We Filipinos here in Australia come from migrant stock. That's our common denominator; therefore, we have the drive to make it in a different place. We accept that it's hard, but that we should be okay with it being hard," saad ni Aimee.
Habang tanggap ng mga Pilipino ang hirap na dala ng pagtira sa ibang bansa, tanggap din ng mga Pilipinong ina ang kanilang patuloy na responsibilidad bilang primary carer saan man sila nakatira.
"This has been our gender training. We don't really complain about being the primary carer because there's an acceptance of the role. For us, it's a given. It just is."
Ang "just is" ay nakatanim din sa isipan ng mga asawa't anak. Saad ni Aimee na ang ina pa rin ang tinitingnan bilang taga-pangalaga habang ang ama ay ang nagtatrabaho.
"I do worry about women who have just given birth or gotten married. They shift from singlehood to couplehood to motherhood. There's no manual - majority of the time, they're just winging it or deriving from what they learned from their own parents."
At ang kadalasang natutunan ng mga babae sa kanilang mga magulang ay ang pagsasakripisyo para sa kapakanan ng pamilya.
"The time you care for your children is time out of a career progression or continuance of work. Work is halted or stunted compared to your male counterparts.
"Then comes the inequality in pay. Why is that, right? You're not taking a holiday when you're bearing and raising children. The hidden work you take on isn't deemed as formal work. Sometimes, it's not even seen as work at all."
Pagkakaroon ng mental space
Ayon kay Aimee, madalas hindi binibigyang pansin ang ginagawang hidden work ng mga nanay.
"This is the crux of what women can accomplish, of what they are recognised for or not. It could lead to dissatisfaction or even strained marriages due to resentment of having to take on the lion share of the load.
"In my practice, what I've found is that it is when women are middle-aged and the kids have grown up that they reflect on what they've personally accomplished...not just as mothers, but as people."
Saad niya na ang pag-iisip na ito ay nangyayari kapag may mental space na ang mga nanay na isipin ang kanilang mga sarili.
"When you're younger and the kids are younger, your primary goal is caring for them. It's easy to forget yourself.
"You think about your job. You think about the kids. You think about the home. You tend to all the hidden work in between. You're multitasking and thinking of everything and everybody else. You don't have mental space to think about what you want."
Aniya, ang pagdagdag ng mental space ay hindi lamang nakasalalay sa mga ina kundi sa mga asawa't anak din.
Patulungin si tatay
"There's nothing wrong with asking for help. Be okay with delegating. The house may not be as clean as you like, but you can end up doing more with your career."
Mahalagang suportado ng mga asawa ang pagbabago ng mindset ukol sa hidden work.
"You start with men believing that men and women are equal; therefore, hidden work should be shared."
Sa katunayan, mas praktikal ang pagtutulungan ng mag-asawang parehong nagtatrabaho sa bahay ngayong pandemya.
"Like for me, I had a lot of help from my husband - little things like changing nappies and planning meals. Mums would understand how much mental space it takes just to plan meals! Dads helping with the load is uplifting and mums are happier for it."
BASAHIN / PAKINGGAN DIN
