It may come naturally for those with a close-knit family, but for others it may appear needy. The secret to getting support often requires a bit of forward planning.
75-year-old Loretta is used to doing everything herself. As the sole carer of her 81-year-old husband who lives with Alzheimer’s, she admits there is a reason why asking her family for help doesn’t come easy.
This fierce independence is ingrained in the psyche of many baby-boomers, says Tanja Gawin, a social worker from the Melbourne-based Australian-German Welfare Society.
Migrants tend to rely on their children to offer help rather than asking them directly. Melbourne-based social worker Anu Krishnan explains.
A typical example is complaining about the aches and pains rather than asking to be taken to see a doctor.
Psychologist Andrea Crane says asking for help can avoid stress and anxiety.
Reaching out to others isn’t always easy, especially if you’re used to being the one who provides support. Crane says honesty is the first step.
If it’s not in your nature to ask for assistance, perhaps start by sharing regular quality time with your loved ones such as going for walks or doing activities together.
Anu Krishnan says a preventive approach is best-practice.
Finances can be a particularly contentious subject for families. Many older migrants tend to entrust their lifelong savings to their children at the risk of losing their financial freedom. Krishnan suggests setting up bank transfers so you have money regularly coming into the account.
Loretta had her mother live with her family for twenty years until she passed away at 91. But she doesn't expect her own children to do the same.
