I visited Qatar not so long ago. True, it was hot, it was dusty, and ruining SBS's own statistics (sorry), it did appear there were actually more than three men to every woman.
The issue of the day, according to local media, was what to do with thousands of bored migrant workers. A newspaper referred to the workers as “bachelors”, which appeared to be euphemism for not getting the physical exercise they otherwise might have, had there been a larger female contingent.
The workers were getting a bit toey and this was a problem, some local officials feared.
That trip to Qatar was the very same one where Football Federation Australia's Chief Executive Ben Buckley arrived at a Doha football stadium wearing denim shorts, not just a fashion faux pas in general terms but also a cultural one should he want to have been taken seriously in a Muslim country.
But never mind details like that.
This was the same trip where, in Doha's fake “Old Souk”, I could have spoken forever with two men wearing dish-dash (not shorts) about the intricacies of international football.
They never mentioned a Qatar bid for the 2022 FIFA World Cup. Maybe I didn't ask because I was still recovering from one of too many taxi rides where the drivers had absolutely no idea where they were going and would neither look at a map.
But it seems things changed – radically fast – in Qatar. The country has worked out exactly where it is going if the World Cup is any example. The tiny country, apparently undeserving hosts according to some opinions, handed out a complete shellacking to Australia's own ambition to host the same tournament.
I promise not to bore you too much with yet more opinion on Australia's failed bid but I will say, good grief, it was poor.
The final video presentation in Zurich neatly summed up the $46 million effort. Australia was pitched as a spectacular tourist destination. Who knew that about Australia? Pretty much the whole world, not least FIFA's ExCo who visited Sydney in 2009 for its Congress.
Marketing lesson 101 – always tell a story. FIFA never heard Australia's compelling football story. Not a word about Australia's pioneering matches in Vietnam in the 1960s, Johnny Warren's journey, the '74 Socceroos, how fans felt after losing to Iran in '97 or their joy in qualifying for Germany in 2005.
Nor were Harry Kewell or Mark Viduka – actual recognisable footballers – included in the pitch. Tim Cahill did turn up for a photo with FIFA's Sepp Blatter but didn't speak about his own incredible journey from the streets of Sydney to the World Cup stage.
Nor did Cahill get the chance to say a 2022 World Cup in Australia was not about men in Zurich wearing suits or even (God bless him,) Frank Lowy's personal “dream”. The 2022 World Cup, Cahill might have said, would be about The Kids, some not yet even born.
No doubt Cahill would have brought tears to the dry ducts of FIFA's ExCo, just like Qatar's savvy presentation appeared to do. Except presentations don't win bids. Nor do the technical reports.
Apparently, playing dirty is what would have won Australia the bid, according to FFA's adviser Peter Hargitay in an interview broadcast by SBS this week.
The same Hargitay who claims he was paid just $391,00 for two year's work but other's estimate is more like $4 million.
The real figure is closer to a basic contract of $1.2 million over two years plus expenses, but in an environment with so much disinformation, don't feel compelled to believe that either.
Belief, it seems, is currently a tricky question.
“FIFA is in big trouble in my opinion because nobody will believe Qatar won this process legitimately,” said SBS's own Les Murray on a recent podcast from The World Game.
Murray is on FIFA's Ethics Committee so has particular insight on shenanigans or otherwise. He also believes Qatar hosting the World Cup is “ludicrous”.
“Who is going to go to Qatar?” asked Murray.
Well, maybe I am.
Looks like there are plenty of jobs for aspiring taxi drivers. Along with construction, it could be a boom industry.
But first, I need a shower.
And not because of Qatar's weather.
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