A week into the election campaign and the first candidates have bitten the dust, one for offensive conduct more than a decade ago.
That was Geoff Lake, Labor candidate for the safe Victorian seat of Hotham, who it emerged had abused a Liberal councillor during a heated meeting of Monash City Council in 2002.
Details of a sexual harassment claim from the time, reportedly being shopped around by his own party colleagues, say he called Kathy Magee a "f...ing bitch" and a "f...ing slut".
It was apparently well-known and something for which Lake had repeatedly apologised.
No matter. In a hard-fought election campaign, every past transgression is fair game.
Prime Minister Kevin Rudd pulled the plug, declaring Mr Lake's conduct unacceptable for a member of his team.
Then there's Ken Robertson, Labor candidate for the North Queensland seat of Kennedy, comfortably held by independent Bob Katter.
He quit after he was reported as saying Opposition Leader Tony Abbott was a bigot who would have the white Australia policy back in a flash, and that he hoped Australia never had to suffer Mr Abbott's Catholicism.
After embarrassing their own side, both men would appear to qualify as candidates from hell.
But they weren't the only political contenders who failed to see out the week.
Queensland Labor candidate Des Hardman did nothing wrong whatsoever, but was bumped in favour of former premier Peter Beattie. His departure sparked a fleeting wave of internet snickering over his name.
One Nation, traditionally a rich source of colourful candidates, didn't disappoint.
Stephanie Banister, 27, a mother of two whose day job is a welder, quit after just 48 hours as the party's candidate for the Queensland seat of Rankin, vacated by Labor's Craig Emerson.
In a jaw-dropping interview on Brisbane's Channel Seven, she referred to Islam as a country, confused the Islamic holy book the Koran with haram (Islamic term for forbidden) and seemed baffled by the national disability insurance scheme.
She accused Seven of editing her responses to make her look a moron but any viewing of the video indicates she managed fairly well on her own.
So too did Jaymes Diaz, Liberal candidate for the marginal Labor-held Sydney seat of Greenway.
In an excruciating interview on the Ten Network, he repeatedly stumbled over the coalition's policy on asylum seeker boat arrivals in a manner so awe-inspiring the ensuing video went viral.
Diaz can't so easily plead media naivety as he's an immigration lawyer who stood for Greenway in 2010.
Abbott, who admits he's done the occasional crook media interview in his time, rang to commiserate with the man who could well be one of his MPs after September 7.
