Andrew Chan's chilling summation of his life has emerged in a letter he wrote to his teenage self: "Your family and your friends are heartbroken and your life will be ended by a firing squad.
"This happened to you because you thought taking drugs was cool," the convicted Bali Nine drug smuggler wrote.
"Underneath, you're not a bad person and drugs made you different."
Chan and Myuran Sukumaran have been transferred to the Nusakambangan prison island for execution.
The pair were due to be executed as early as this weekend.
Indonesia says it will now wait for the legal appeals of the Bali Nine duo and other death-row inmates, meaning they could be on Nusakambangan for weeks.
Chan's friend and filmmaker Malinda Rutter told the Seven Network's Sunday Night program she had asked him to write the letter as part of a drug education campaign.
Ms Rutter's sister died of a heroin overdose, and while she does not condone the actions of Chan and Sukumaran, she says the men have changed.
"They are totally reformed and this is totally genuine," she said, clearly emotional.
"That's what's so sad."
In the letter, Chan writes of the agony he has caused those who care about him.
"I have missed weddings. I've missed funerals and the simple presence of my own family.
"The hurt and pain - I don't just put it on to myself. But the pain I put on my family is agonising.
"I have nothing but an iron bar to hug rather than to be embraced by those I love and who I miss."
