It’s the winter blood drive - but I won’t be donating.
I recently went to the Red Cross and tried to donate my blood. The nurses were nothing but kind; they did their absolute best to make me feel comfortable.
I could not donate any of my blood. Not because I’ve fallen victim to the flu like so many others - but because I am a sexuality active gay man.
... as it stands, a heterosexual who has had unprotected sex with many partners, can - as long as they conform to policy - donate blood during a walk of shame home. But a HIV-negative gay man who has been in a relationship for 35 years and who has only ever practised safe sex cannot give his blood as long as he remains sexually active.
I went there alone, so when I awkwardly shuffled out of the building I had no one to be embarrassed in front of.
The wonderful staff at the Red Cross sympathised with me. They said that they understood that it seemed unfair, and that in all likelihood gay men practise much safer sex than their heterosexual counterparts.
Homosexual sex is one of the main ways HIV spreads in Australia. More importantly, refusing the blood of men who have sex with other men in the 12 months leading up to a donation is policy.
I can only imagine the dread a closeted, sexually active gay male in high school would feel when he sees the Red Cross donation van pull up into the school yard.
Or the frustration of the closeted gay male worker, when his boss sends around an email letting everyone know about the latest office blood drive.
Giving blood is not a right. But a person does have the right to keep their sexual identity to themselves without having to explain it to their peers.
When all your mates are about to donate blood and you refuse, they're going to want to know why. What happens next?
Do you lie? Do you claim to have eaten a mad cow? That you’ve had sex for money? Do you simply refuse to say?
Or, do you come out of the closet, right then and there?
No one should be forced into this situation.
Why can’t gay men give blood? Let me be clear: I’m not advocating on behalf of someone who doesn't know, or worse, doesn't care how to ‘wrap it before he taps it’.
The Australian Federation of AIDS Organisations writes, "HIV cannot pass through condoms, however, HIV may be transmitted when people use condoms incorrectly or when condoms slip or break during sexual activity."
The Red Cross writes,"'protected sex' is not 100% effective and therefore the Blood Service's guidelines relating to sexual activity are based on the prevalence of infection in certain population groups."
So, learn how to properly use a condom. If it breaks, don’t try to donate blood until you’ve waited an appropriate amount of time for the virus to show up in tests, then get an STI screening to confirm you aren’t infected. Simple.
But if you are sexually responsible and practice safe sex, you ought to be able to give blood regardless of the gender of your sexual partner.
Why? Because as it stands, a heterosexual who has had unprotected sex with many partners, can - as long as they conform to policy - donate blood during a walk of shame home.
But a HIV-negative gay man who has been in a relationship for 35 years and who has only ever practised safe sex cannot give his blood as long as he remains sexually active.
Right now, the policy is medically-endorsed discrimination. Nothing that is discriminatory belongs in the workplace. Nothing that is discriminatory belongs in our schools.
The Red Cross policy is determined by the recommendations of an independent review committee.
In it’s latest report, the committee says not everyone who believes they are in a safe from STIs because they are in a monogamous relationship actually are - it’s possible that their partner may be sexually active elsewhere.
Using this logic, no person in a relationship in Australia should be allowed to donate blood.
Does this imply that because there are two men that the risk of cheating is much greater? That they're more promiscuous than heterosexuals who don’t even claim to be in monogamous relationships? If so, it’s not a ban of gay blood - just a way to label all gay men as more promiscuous than heterosexuals.
All the Red Cross rely on for this system is paper work based on honesty.
Rather than discriminating against the gender of the people that donors have sex with, they should instead decide depending on one’s sexual responsibility.
If you’ve had a conservative amount of sexual partners, and you’ve only practised safe sex you should be able to donate your blood.
There are always blood shortages this time of year - and that sucks.
The Australian Red Cross does amazing work.
But surely we can get blood without causing needless pain to a minority group that is already in so much.
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