If you’re reading this, chances are you should actually be doing something else. Something far more productive but probably way less interesting.
I can relate! I am a serial procrastinator when it comes to doing what needs to be done. I’m one of the very worst for letting myself get distracted by the internet. How can I not? All those clickworthy headlines and videos that promise that I “won’t believe what happened next!” make it impossible to look away.
After I’ve had breakfast, walked the dog, played with my son, had a cup of coffee and caught up on the latest episode of If You Are The One I get down to serious businessy work work for the day. There I am, sitting there trying to create professional web copy or even write something hilariously witty of my own and when the internet pipes up in its tiny but relentless voice. It says “Look at meeeeeee” - and I am powerless to disobey.
There are so many things to see! There are badly spellchecked and completely fabricated stories about celebrity diets that just might change my life, tear jerking videos of flash mob marriage proposals and hilariously written cooking blogs which manage to integrate the word ‘peen’ into a piece on preparing salmon. (Goal for 2015, incorporate the word ‘peen’, in context, wherever possible). There are Buzzfeed lists clarifying how to tell if you were a teenager in the nineties (Chokers! Doc Martins! Having to bully the old-school way, by passing notes instead of setting up online hate groups), righteous articles about nutrition and all the feminist content which I feel it is anti-feminist of me not to look at.
Then, after all that I spiral down into the vortex of my local Facebook mothers group and before I know it an hour has passed with me posting helpful tips about toddler sleep patterns and where to find gluten free party food.
...
Sorry, I had to go post a status update about some hilarious graffiti I saw yesterday.
...
Then I had to go and read the comments that my equally distracted friends were posting on it, and write “Shouldn’t you be working???” followed by a winky emoticon.
I am the Meryl Streep of being easily distracted. It’s my craft. Truly, sometimes I send myself an email to remind myself of something or just make sure I have a record of what the password on my Feminist Home Decor website account is, only to get excited because I then get a notification that I have an email. Stop what I’m doing and go to check it ... derp. I’m checking an email from myself. Which I sent fifteen seconds ago.
One of my ongoing arguments with my family is that as a busy working mother I simply don’t have enough time to keep my house clean. Honestly though, if I just PUT THE PHONE DOWN I would have at least thirty minutes a day to iron something and do something about the frozen peas my son flung everywhere before they defrost to a point where sweeping them up just translates to smushing them into the floor.
Then again, sure, I could spend time ironing, but let’s face it - ironing is way more stressful than following Lara Bingle’s stream of selfies on Instagram. YOLO, right?
Ok seriously, I’m going to go finish that article on why the internet is ruining our brains now.
P.S. Please comment, it will give me an excellent excuse to waste more time while I read your witty responses to this piece.
P.P.S. Feminist home decor is totally a thing. Check out this, it says ‘Girls Just Wanna Have Fun-damental Human Rights’.
