When a college student in the US coined the word “dadbod” in an article for an obscure website, no one would’ve thought that the internet would blow up about it.
But blow up it did.
Buzzfeed was quick on the scene with “16 Times Leonardo DiCaprio’s DadBody Was The DadBodiest Bod Of All” and “DadBody Is The Body All Men Should Strive For” – this last piece included a compilation of a number of Hollywood celebrities who rocked the dadbod.
Pretty soon, publications around the world started talking about how the dadbod was attractive and preferable to some women.
So what’s a dadbod? Well, the amazing thing about it is you don’t have to be a dad to rock a dadbod (check the Leonardo DiCaprio story mentioned above) – you just need to have pudgy belly, soft arms unused to working out, and a relaxed attitude to food - thus encompassing the vast majority of the male population over 30.
The dadbod means you can eat what you want, not work out, not care about how you look, and still have women find you attractive.
So far so good, you may say. What’s your problem with it?
Well, my problem isn’t so much with dadbods themselves but how this extends to mumbods. You see, we are the ones growing a life inside of us for 9 months, and then often breastfeeding that life once we deliver it.
Yet despite this no one celebrates our accomplishments – instead, as soon as we’ve delivered a baby we are expected to snap back into shape. Some mags even demand we get into better shape than before we started having kids.
We are subjected to gushing galleries of celebrity mums who “pinged back to skinny” mere weeks after giving birth - where are the Buzzfeed articles about soft-bellied, too-exhausted-to-get-into-shape celebrity mumbods?
We are asked “what’s your excuse?” when we don’t manage to develop a six-pack before our child’s first birthday (never mind the fact we’ve never had a six-pack in our lives). We are shown photos of privileged royalty stepping out of hospital a mere ten hours after giving birth looking like the whole thing was a trip to the park - thus causing many new mothers with ice-packs to their nether regions judging themselves for not looking the same.
All these things set the expectation that we should appear as if we haven’t been bothered by the mere inconvenience of growing a child and bringing it into the world. We should pretend we are still are usual selves, or perhaps a self we never were in the first place – rocking six-pack abs and flawless flowing hair, while carrying a baby in one arm like a fashion accessory.
There are a few mums who are apparently “fighting back” by tweeting pictures of their #mumbods - and while it’s admirable of them to do so their contribution can’t stem the torrent of articles in the media dedicated to making mothers feel bad about their appearance.
There are industries of diet and fitness gurus set-up to take advantage of this. We can’t have women feeling good about their bodies when a large number of businesses rely on them to feel bad about it.
The dadbod is just another example of the double-standards placed on women – what amazes me is how many women buy into these standards. At the end of the day however, it’s not our fault that we do – when you’ve been fed a constant diet of media messages that are meant to make you feel bad about yourself you can’t help but believe it.
Whatever we look like, rocking a six-pack or not, it’s never going to be good enough – the economy relies on us to believe that.
Share
