I am a member of a group that has consistently been maligned by the rest of society. I learnt early on to hide the characteristics that would instantly expose me as a member, only letting my true self be seen by those I knew I could trust.
No, this has nothing to do with sexuality, secret unsavoury proclivities, or an involvement with Scientology. I am what people would classify as a ‘pessimist’.
Believe in yourself! Believe in the universe! Climate change will be fine! The world isn’t doomed! The glass is half full!
Until recently, I have felt nothing but shame for existing with this state of mind. The universe has continuously pushed motivational posters, self-help books, and Oprah episodes about The Secret to us, all placing importance on the power of positive thinking. There is nothing you can’t achieve as long as you visualise yourself achieving it! It is yours as long as you put it out into the universe that you want it! As long as you believe in yourself! Believe in yourself! Believe in the universe! Climate change will be fine! The world isn’t doomed! The glass is half full!
For me, the glass is never half-full. It sometimes isn’t even half-empty, instead tending more towards ‘the glass has smashed on the ground and I stood on it and cut my foot and my shoe is filling up with blood’.
People who think this way have frequently been informed that this is the wrong way to go about life. You allegedly have to think positively in order for anything good to happen. But even though I often assume a negative outcome in situations, good things still happen. And in the times I try hard to think positively, bad things still happen. So all that is left is how it makes me feel afterwards.
And that, in my opinion, is where pessimism can be the superior mindset.
Let’s say, like this week, I was watching the State of Origin. Let’s say I am pessimistic and think my team, Queensland, are going to lose. By doing that, I have already started adjusting my mood. In the back of my mind I am already adjusting to the outcome, and how to deal with the sadness of the loss. If Queensland then did go on to lose, I have had a head start on getting over it. I expected it. But if they win, I get the same excited winning feeling as someone who assumed they would win, PLUS I get to feel happily surprised. There is no downside.
Imagining the very worst things that could happen, and then preparing for those can greatly help to lessen the anxiety.
Pessimism can be a positive (isn’t it ironic, Alanis) in other circumstances as well, as long as you don’t let the pessimism affect the effort you put into something, even if you do anticipate a negative outcome. For me, it can help control anxiety levels, no matter what the example. If my natural setting is pessimism, it means that in assessing any situation, my brain has automatically flipped through the list of likely outcomes. If you stop this assessment at the positive outcomes because you just want to be optimistic, you are leaving yourself unprepared if the worst-case scenarios transpire.
Imagining the very worst things that could happen, and then preparing for those can greatly help to lessen the anxiety. It also can mean setting low and reachable expectations that feel good to achieve, rather than the crushing defeat optimists experience with their lofty goals.
In my experience, pessimism is an underrated way to view the world. Of course, you have to wield it carefully, because if you let it spin out of control, it can easily turn into glumness and ‘why should I even bother’. And yes, it can annoy and frustrate your loved ones, because often people read pessimism as low self-esteem, where you might see it more just as realism.
Other people, especially those who are optimists, will naturally want to urge you into thinking like them. They will want you to believe in yourself and imagine that you can do anything you put your mind to. They will not want to be sullied with your perceived negativity. But it’s time pessimists took a stand.
Perhaps we don’t want to be sullied with your optimism. Perhaps we are happy here in the dark, expecting the very absolute disastrous worst, and finding satisfaction with anything that isn’t. Bad things will happen, with or without your attitude.
It’s about time we stand up for ourselves against the constant tinged-with-hysteria claims that optimism will make all the difference. There is no doubt that positive thinking and energy and visualising and belief does work to some extent for a lot of people.
But it probably wouldn’t work for me. That’s just a feeling I have.
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