Sometimes Bunny McDiarmid can remember everything about the bombing of the Rainbow Warrior in vivid detail.
Other times it can seem a very long time ago.
Ms McDiarmid had been a deckhand on the Greenpeace vessel before two French agents slipped into Auckland's Waitemata Harbour under the cover of darkness on July 10, 1985 to attach two bombs to its hull.
The blast left Portuguese-Dutch photographer Fernando Pereira dead and the New Zealand government and public reeling.
Ms McDiarmid - now the outgoing head of Greenpeace New Zealand - was among the tight-knit group of activists who had embarked on campaigns in the Pacific to protest against French nuclear testing and draw attention to the terrible legacy it left on the people, the land and the ocean.
When she thinks back to the bombing 30 years ago, she recalls just how shocking it was.
"It was very, very hard to comprehend that it had happened, particularly because we lost Fernando," Ms McDiarmid told AAP.
"It was shocking, not only for Greenpeace - it was shocking for New Zealand, it was shocking for New Zealanders."
That shock did not fade in the months that followed as the extent of the French government's involvement was revealed.
While much attention is always focused on the bombing and its political fallout, Ms McDiarmid says Greenpeace wants to use this anniversary as a chance to celebrate acts of courage and protest.
"Much of New Zealand has been defined by our activism, whether it was women getting the vote, or Bastion Point, or a nuclear free New Zealand," she said.
It is that activist streak - and the need for people to continue to have the courage to speak out to effect social change - that connects the events of 30 years ago with today.
Ms McDiarmid thinks the Rainbow Warrior is a symbol that inspires hope in that sense.
"Sometimes just raising your voice is a big thing," she said.
"It can be a really incredible act of courage, depending on where you are, or who you are, or what the context is.
"Just opening your mouth can be incredibly significant - you can risk your life, it can change the course of history."
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