Wye is a Doctor who has been living with her partner Dave for five years. Dave is not Wye’s only partner – she also sees a man called Andrew. Dave has a girlfriend called Chrissy.
When Wye first met Dave she struggled with the idea of having an open relationship and did years of therapy to come to terms with what Dave wanted. In the beginning, Wye and Dave set ground rules including never sleeping with someone else in their bed. Andrew is only in a relationship with Wye and admits to sometimes feeling left out.
Lynn and Jim have been married for 13 years and have been together for 20. They also have five children. They have been seeing other people since the beginning of their relationship. At first it was just sex but it then evolved into having emotional connections with other people. Jim says he was born to live a polyamorous lifestyle and was the one to first suggest having an open marriage. Lynn admits she sometimes gets jealous but Jim says it’s rare for him to have those feelings. They’ve told all their children about their open marriage.
Jess and Lawrence have been together for five years. When they started dating, Lawrence asked Jess if she’d do swinging and she agreed. Their rule is to do everything together and that their open relationship only involves sex with other people and not emotional connections. Lawrence says he doesn’t get jealous but Jess sometimes does. They talk almost every day about their feelings and their open relationship.
Robin Rinaldi had been married for 18 years when she decided she wanted to try having an open relationship. She moved into a separate apartment during the week and slept with 12 people over one year. Her and her husband established rules including only seeing someone three times so that they wouldn’t fall in love. After a year, Robin went back to being monogamous with her husband but the marriage ended after someone who she’d slept with got back in touch with her. She’s now in a monogamous relationship with that man and says open relationships aren’t for her.
Helen Fisher is a biological anthropologist who has studied the chemistry of love. She thinks we’re built to form a pair bonding and that people in open relationships have to conquer and fight profoundly basic instincts. She says the reason they talk so much about their feelings is because they are trying to over-ride the brain system for romantic love and deep attachment.
This week Insight looks at open relationships and finds out how they work and if they can last. Open Relationships, Tuesday, 8.30pm, SBS.
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