This article contains references to domestic violence, abuse and child abuse.
It wasn't until 31-year-old Mali (not her real name) from southern Thailand moved to Australia to live with her partner that she realised "he wasn't the person I hoped he would be".
"He tried to control who I talked to. I wasn't allowed to have friends. After work, I had to come straight home," Mali told SBS Thai.
At the time, Mali worked in a factory near their home in a regional town in south-west Victoria, but had no access to her income.
"When my first pay cheque came, he took all of it," she said. "I couldn't use any money for myself or send anything home to my parents, even though it was my own income."
Mali met John (not his real name) while he was on holiday in Thailand. He was her first long-term partner from overseas.
Along with her two children from a previous marriage, Mali arrived in Australia on a visitor visa in September 2017 and moved in with John straight away. They married in 2018.
From the beginning, Mali had hoped they would have a stable and loving family life.
However, John's controlling behaviour started soon after they started living together — behaviour that extended to her son, she said.
One time, he forced Mali's son to eat lettuce leaves that had been thrown into the rubbish bin. The control and verbal abuse eventually escalated into physical violence, Mali said.
"He pushed me into the kitchen door. I fell in front of the children," she said.
Sadly, Mali's experience is not unique, and her story comes as experts warn that gaps in Australia's migration system can leave temporary visa holders vulnerable to such violence and with limited access to support.
'Migration status is frequently weaponised'
Mali said her status as a migrant made her feel particularly vulnerable.
"A man who is our [visa] sponsor feels like he has all the power; he can do whatever he wants to control us. We feel as if we're always at his mercy," she said.
For Mali, this threat was more than implicit; on several occasions. She said John warned her he'd get her visa cancelled if she didn't obey him.
"He told me he had written to the Department of Home Affairs (DHA) asking them to remove me and my children from Australia," she said.
Experts say such threats are common.
Professor Marie Segrave from the University of Melbourne, whose research specialises in the exploitation of irregular and temporary migrants, said perpetrators often use visa status as leverage.
"There's a whole range of ways that the migration system both enables and sustains violence against women, but also empowers perpetrators," Professor Marie Segrave said. Source: Supplied
"Temporary visa holders not on a pathway to permanency have significant limitations around the support they can access. That creates opportunities for perpetrators to mislead or threaten them.
"The fear can be very real, particularly in situations involving children."
Under Australian law, a sponsor cannot unilaterally cancel a partner's visa, but this is something victims often do not know, she said.
Only the DHA has the power to cancel a visa, but a sponsor can notify the department that a relationship has ended, which triggers a review and potential cancellation by the department if no exceptions apply, giving the visa holder time to respond.
Migrants who have experienced family violence may be able to obtain a permanent Australian visa if they have applied for or hold an eligible visa, and the perpetrator was their former partner or spouse, among several other provisions detailed on the DHA website.
Victims fall through gaps in the system
Segrave said Australia's migration system can unintentionally heighten risks for migrant women experiencing violence.
"There is no clear position that all women will be supported regardless of visa status," she said.
"The system is complex, and that complexity enables perpetrators to control and misinform."
While recent changes have expanded access to some family violence provisions and emergency payments for people fleeing family violence, Segrave said many women remain excluded from adequate protection, and further policy changes are needed.
"There is strong evidence that a dedicated bridging visa for victim-survivors of family violence is possible, as we've seen with migrant workers experiencing exploitation," she said.
"But that call has not yet been taken up."
Control is an early warning sign
Specialist family violence and trauma counsellor Su Chaitham said abuse often appears long before physical violence.
"Early signs include feeling unsafe, being regularly disrespected, or being cut off from friends, money or family," she said.
She said many victims may not recognise that a partner monitoring their movements, restricting access to money or preventing communication with others are forms of family violence.
Limited English fluency, a lack of personal networks, and poor understanding of Australian laws and systems are all "excellent tools of control" for abusers of migrant women, Su Chaitham said. Source: Supplied
She said immediate safety is the priority during crises.
"If you are not safe, call triple-zero. If you can't, leave the house and go somewhere public — a neighbour's home, a shop, a petrol station, anywhere with people and CCTV," she said.
A turning point
Mali said she decided to end the relationship after returning from surgery and being told to leave the family home while still recovering.
"I couldn't walk properly. My stitches were still bleeding," she said. "He handed me a piece of paper and told me to move out immediately."
She walked to a nearby lake and sat crying until a neighbour approached. The neighbour's family contacted police and support services.
Authorities later helped Mali relocate and secure safe accommodation for herself and her child. She said harassment from her former partner continued for some time.
"He still came to the house morning and night," she said. "Sometimes he said we were still married. Other times, he said the relationship was over."
With assistance from domestic violence services, Mali eventually stabilised her visa situation and now has secure permanent residency.
A message for other migrant women
Mali hopes her story will encourage other women to seek help.
"I'm glad I didn't give up," she said. "There is help out there, and we all deserve safety."
Mali celebrated with a victory drink when, after a long and painful ordeal, she finally left John. Source: Supplied
"If Australia aims to end violence within a generation, we must provide consistent protection for all women, regardless of visa status."
This story was produced in collaboration with SBS Thai.
If you or someone you know is impacted by family and domestic violence, call 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732, text 0458 737 732, or visit 1800RESPECT.org.au. In an emergency, call 000.
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