Need to borrow a laptop or find somewhere to store your stuff during your overseas travels?
Perhaps you've landed yourself in hot water with the law and need help posting bail?
Well, don't contact your nearest Australian embassy - that's not what they're there for.
Remarkably, embassies field these and even more outrageous requests from Australian travellers every year and the federal government has decided it's time for some tough love.
It's launched a campaign to alert travellers about what is reasonable - and more importantly, unreasonable - to expect from Australia's consular services abroad.
"Our consular staff are not there to pay for the repairs to your jet ski. They are not there to pay your hotel bill," Foreign Minister Julie Bishop said in Canberra.
"Consular assistance is a last resort service."
Australia's diplomats have noticed some trends in recent years as the number of trips taken abroad has exploded to nearly ten million a year.
Last year they helped nearly 15,000 Australians in trouble, and juggled more than 1000 active cases a day.
Less people are needing medical evacuation or emergency financial assistance these days but more are dying, getting arrested or winding up in hospital.
Bangkok remains the busiest consular post in the world, unsurprising as Thailand's the top destination for Australians dying or getting hospitalised.
However, hundreds of the cases at that embassy were classed as "general welfare", and the growing number of travellers seeking help for trivial matters is putting strain on the system.
Ms Bishop stressed that those in genuine need - like victims of serious crimes or natural disasters - would not be stranded.
But she said some people rort the system, pointing to activists who wilfully break the law overseas and then demand help.
"And yet the Australian consular staff are meant to get on a plane and fly to some remote place to bail them out," she said.
Last year Ms Bishop suggested the government might ask Greenpeace to repay the tens of thousands of dollars spent helping activist Colin Russell get out of a Russian prison.
She's decided not to introduce a cost recovery system for consular services for now, but says it remains a "live option".
WHAT AN EMBASSY WILL DO FOR YOU
* Replace your passport (for a fee)
* Provide small emergency loans - in exceptional circumstances
* Visit you if you're arrested to make sure you're being treated well
* Provide advice if a relative is kidnapped or dies overseas
DON'T EXPECT THEM TO:
* Pay your pension, post your bail or store your lost property
* Get you better conditions in jail than local prisoners
* Intervene in another country's court proceedings or legal matters
* Prevent you from getting deported or bail you out of prison
* Fix your jet ski
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