Labor has vowed to push ahead next week with its private members bill on gay marriage but says it is open to having a Liberal co-sponsor.
Deputy leader Tanya Plibersek said she'd been seeking a co-sponsor from the other side for more than a year, but had been told that was impossible because a conscience vote has not been granted for coalition MPs.
"There was a classic catch 22 scenario. They weren't allowed to co-sponsor because (a conscience vote) hadn't been discussed in the party room, but they wouldn't discuss it in their party room until there was a bill before the parliament," she told ABC radio.
Cabinet minister Barnaby Joyce said arguments on the issue would be heard in a dignified way in the coalition party room.
That was important when such strong views were held, he told ABC radio.
"I believe in traditional marriage and of course that never gets you friends - that's why people walk cautiously into this," he said.
NSW Gay and Lesbian Rights Lobby convenor Justin Koonin said it was becoming "increasingly untenable" for MPs not to implement marriage reform.
The Australian Christian Lobby fears same-sex marriage will pave the way for legalising commercial surrogacy.
"So-called marriage equality cannot be provided for two married men without lifting the ban on commercial surrogacy," lobby spokesman Lyle Shelton said.
He urged parliamentarians contemplating a change in marriage law to think beyond the slogans of equal love and marriage equality.
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