Former Wallabies business manager Di Patston says she felt bullied into not telling anyone about the lewd photos inadvertently sent to her because she was so embarrassed.
Patston has broken her public silence on the Wallabies texting scandal in the wake of the code of conduct hearing which fined Kurtley Beale $45,000 for sending an offensive image to her.
Beale escaped heavier sanction when cleared of being the instigator of a second, more offensive, photo and caption which was reportedly included. The author of that has yet to be revealed.
Speaking to The Australian, Patston appeared upset with the outcome of the tribunal.
"If it was one image or two or 20, what does it matter?" Patston asked.
"They were both of very obese women in a very derogatory way. I am overweight and they were both naked with everything exposed.
"He (Beale) doesn't know my background. I've had an ongoing illness myself and I'm on medication. There's a whole story behind it.
"I actually said to my dad I felt bullied into not telling anyone about the photos because I was embarrassed.
"I'm not good. Life is probably the worst it has ever been. I'm alive but there have been times I haven't wanted to be here."
The Australian received a leaked copy of Beale's statement in which he acknowledged he did not reveal to Patston when he initially apologised to her that he'd sent the offensive image to some Waratahs mates six days earlier on June 3.
"I did not tell Di any details, however, for fear of hurting her or inflaming the situation," Beale wrote in his statement.
She found out when sent a copy of the statement last Tuesday.
"Even as I was cuddling him, he said `I promise you, Di, I haven't sent this to anyone'," she said.
"It's like he played me for a fool. If he had said to me it was the second time he did it in the matter of seven days, no way, absolutely no way, would I have just said `That's OK'.
(* Readers seeking support and information about suicide prevention can contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 and Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467).
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