It has taken 13 years for Raden Supriyo Laksono to be able to pass Bali's "Ground Zero" without being overcome with anger at the terrorists who killed 202 people, including his wife.
Forgiveness is taking longer, and forgetting is impossible.
Lilis Puspita was pregnant, and had gone to the Sari Club area that night to pick him up from work.
But Mr Laksono says the anger became disabling.
"For now, it's over," he says.
"If we're always angry, we will always be at life's lowest point. Now, I no longer bear that burden."
One of the attackers who survived and was jailed, Ali Imron, recently confronted victims' families and friends to apologise.
Mr Laksono understands why some cannot accept his gesture.
"At first, it was difficult for me to forgive ... I know that some families are still reluctant," he says.
Ni Luh Erniati was one of those who met Imron, and was left with mixed feelings.
"I wanted to hear directly his reasons and to tell him I've been suffering because of that," she says.
But of the apology she says: "In my heart, I still couldn't accept it."
To commemorate the 13th anniversary of the bombing, Bali-based support group Isana Dewata organised a concert at the Kuta memorial, featuring the talents of the group's children.
Some were only toddlers at the time of the bombing and for the adult survivors inspire their "fight for the future".
Mr Laksono says his children seem to find comfort when they recall their mother's name on the memorial among 88 Australians and 37 other Indonesians.
"When we bring the children here to pray, it's the children who remind me, `Dad, that's mum, number 20'."
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