Raw with grief from their son's suicide, Janet and Barry Hill thought their special invite to a Police Remembrance Day ceremony could provide some comfort.
Constable Morgan Hill took his own life in 2009.
At the ceremony six months later, his parents read his name in the order of service booklet.
But when they approached the NSW Police honour wall in Sydney's Domain, where the names of officers who have died in the line of duty are engraved, they were shocked to discover their son's name was not there.
Convinced there had been some terrible oversight, the Hills wrote to Police Commissioner Andrew Scipione.
His reply kindly informed them that the criteria for a death in the line of duty excluded suicide.
"They will accept physical injury, but not psychological," Mrs Hill told AAP.
"We fully believed that there was something wrong there."
The Hills wrote letter after letter.
They told the commissioner that society's views on suicide had changed and mental health problems were part of the human condition.
They implored Mr Scipione to show leadership and take their concerns to the committee that sets the criteria.
Getting nowhere, the Hills took their fight to the NSW Anti-Discrimination Board, arguing that their son was the victim of discrimination because of the nature of his death.
But they were told they had no case because they could not argue for the rights of a dead person.
Battle-weary and running out of ideas, they are now looking to the NSW parliament for help.
NSW Greens MP David Shoebridge has been outspoken on the issue and wants the criteria for the honour wall to change.
His Facebook post on Police Remembrance Day this week summed it up: "Excluding psychologically injured police sends the unacceptable message that these officers are not worthy of the recognition or remembrance that their colleagues who lost their lives through physical injury rightly receive."
But he believes politicians can only do so much and that change will only happen once Mr Scipione is no longer at the helm.
Mr Shoebridge told AAP the NSW Police Force saw psychological illness as a "second-class injury".
This was clear, he said, by the fact that the police force erected a separate memorial in Surry Hills a week ago.
This memorial at the Sydney Police Centre features the names of officers who have died of illnesses, including those who took their own lives.
In the press release announcing the memorial's unveiling, there was no reference to suicide, just that the officers were "unable to continue work because of an injury or illness and have subsequently passed away".
A failure to face the issue is nothing new to Sharan Nicholson-Rogers, whose husband took his life in 1996.
"He was called a malingerer, he was called lazy," she told AAP.
"He was just completely ignored and we begged for help."
Ms Nicholson-Rogers wants her children and grandchildren to have a visual reminder that their father and grandfather is recognised for giving his life for the job.
"And the job doesn't care. The job has just kicked us to the curb," she said.
"I have to honour my late husband and speak from the grave for him, and on behalf of my children I have to be the strength.
"My husband deserves to be on that wall."
Deborah Bryant, whose husband Ashley took his life in December 2013, wants to see cultural change inside NSW Police.
She believes that including the names of those who took their own lives would send a strong message that the organisation cares about the welfare of current and retired police officers who are struggling with suicidal thoughts.
"And if they ultimately do get to a point where they see no alternative but to take their own lives, they're going to recognise that it was their duty that created that situation," she said.
In response to questions about changing the honour wall criteria, NSW Police told AAP there were "long-standing national guidelines".
Mr Shoebridge said there was no need to change the national guidelines to see change in NSW - new state guidelines would be enough.
Despite the strict honour wall guidelines, a NSW Police spokesman said the force looked after the psychological wellbeing of officers.
He said programs included trauma counselling, the training of officers who identified distressed colleagues, and chaplaincy, resilience and stress-management training, as well as tools to identify psychological illness as early as possible.
Former NSW detective and post-traumatic stress disorder sufferer Belinda Neil advocates for further change in the NSW Police Force.
She has written openly about her condition in her autobiography, Under Siege.
She believes early identification of trauma would prevent deaths.
This, she says, means improving officers' emotional intelligence to be able to identify concerning behaviour as early symptoms of psychological illness. But it's hard.
"Police officers are the ones who have to hide their emotions at a scene," Ms Neil told AAP.
"It is very, very difficult for them to then let their emotions out.
"I got to a stage when I was on the cliff edge. I wasn't thinking about my family or anything.
"It was just an overwhelming, chaotic mess of horrendous scenes in my mind and I wanted peace."
Constable Morgan Hill's sister Clare dismissed concerns that recognising suicide on the honour wall could glorify it.
"They're not doing it to get on the wall," she said.
Three mental health organisations, BeyondBlue, the Black Dog Institute and Lifeline declined to comment. A spokeswoman for BeyondBlue said it did not want to compromise work it is currently doing with Victoria Police by entering the debate.
These days, Mrs Hill fears for police officers who are struggling with psychological illness.
"All these wonderful police officers look at our family and fear that that will be them," she said.
"Even when they die, they will be sort of shamefully ignored, not honoured for the roles they played all their lives."
* Readers seeking support and information about suicide prevention can contact Lifeline on 13 11 14
