Australia's worst pedophile priest has told the child abuse royal commission he did not tell anyone he was abusing children, as he was afraid of being kicked out of the priesthood.
"I knew it was wrong. It was morally wrong and it was legally wrong," Ridsdale said.
"Yes, they were serious sins.
"I'd be fearful all the time of someone reporting me."
The 81-year-old admitted he hurt the children.
"Yes, I did, I know that."
Ridsdale can't remember the names of all the victims he abused and in his evidence to the royal commission has revealed very few details about who in the Catholic Church knew of his offending, and moved him from parish to parish.
He said he was uncomfortable with adults, and admitted he used his position of power as a parish priest to abuse children.
"There was probably a lot of fear in mixing with adults because of the secret that I held, the secret of offending, and perhaps frightened of being questioned by them.
"It was also concerned with control I think, control and power and I was a control freak and I couldn't control adults."
Ridsdale said he had never talked about his offending to anyone, including friends, family or fellow priests.
"As far as I know I've never talked to anyone, and certainly not in confession either, about offending against children."
Commission chair Justice Peter McClellan said it was clear Ridsdale accepted that Ballarat Bishop Ronald Mulkearns knew he was sexually assaulting children, and asked if other clergy in the diocese would also have known.
"It makes sense that some would have known, because word would have got around, but I don't know who," Ridsdale said.
"I don't know whether the bishop would have kept it to himself, whether he would have discussed it with the consultors.
"I've got no idea of if or how many other priests would have known or suspected. It's just something that's not talked about."
Ridsdale said he wouldn't have told the truth when confronted about complaints.
"That's all part of the pedophile thing; the deceit, hiding things, cover up, trying to look good.
"That's what I was doing all the time, all my life."
Ridsdale denied molesting half the boys in the Victorian town of Mortlake while parish priest in 1981-1982.
"I would disagree with half the boys in the school.
"I molested boys, yes."
Senior counsel assisting the commission Gail Furness SC put to Ridsdale that he molested any boy that he could get access to at that school.
After a long pause Ridsdale replied: "I don't know about that because I would have had access to other children that I wouldn't have molested."
Ridsdale told a Catholic Church Insurances investigator in 1994 that he was out of control and "went haywire" abusing boys in Mortlake.
The commission has heard Ridsdale's replacement as parish priest believed he molested every boy aged 10-16 at the school.
Ridsdale said he did not tell the Ballarat bishop who ordained him in 1961 that he had offended while in the seminary studying to be a priest and while overseas.
"I don't think I told, would have told anyone at all," Ridsdale said.
"I never told anyone. It's the sort of thing I wouldn't tell anyone.
"Looking back on it, I think that the overriding fear would have been losing priesthood."
The parents of a boy Ridsdale abused in his first year after being ordained complained to then Ballarat Bishop James O'Collins.
Ridsdale told a Catholic Church Insurances investigator in 1994 that Bishop O'Collins told him "if this thing happens again then you're off to the missions".
Ridsdale on Wednesday corrected the statement to refer to priestly talk of the time about being "off the mission", meaning having the priesthood taken away or being removed from parish work.
"I would have lost faith in myself because I was a very proud person. It just would have been devastating."
Ridsdale has been convicted in four separate court cases of abusing more than 50 children.
Ridsdale explained how he tried to keep his offending a secret.
"I would have made sure that I was in a situation where there was no one else around and I would have told the children to keep quiet about it."
