Mervyn Gillies' parents were married for more than 60 years and diagnosed with dementia within a month of each other.
After attempting to look after them in their Sydney home, Mr Gillies moved his parents to his farm at Firefly, near Forster on the NSW mid-north coast, a decision he regrets.
He says his regional address made accessing medical and support services extremely difficult.
So limited were his options, that when his son died in an interstate truck accident he couldn't access emergency respite care, forcing his friends to look after his frightened parents, who have since died.
Alzheimer's Australia says Mr Gillies' story is indicative of many who care for loved ones in regional and rural Australia.
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At the launch of a discussion paper, Living with Dementia in Regional NSW, Alzheimer's Australia NSW chief executive John Watkins said regional dementia carers were denied choice.
"I talked to some people this morning who said their father needed a bed in a nursing home and the closest one was 150km away," he said.
"Choice is part of living in a free society and if you live in parts of country NSW you don't get choice."
The paper includes recommendations for federal, state and local governments.
Among them is a plea to the NSW government to fund an existing commitment for quality dementia care and create quality-of-care standards for its regional and rural services.
Any changes will come too late for Mr Gillies, who fears the isolation of his farm "only gave them (his parents) unhappiness in their final years".
But he doesn't blame "overworked health care staff".
"It is the system they work under that is letting people down," he said.
