Family violence campaigner and Australian of the Year Rosie Batty says there are two major barriers preventing women from leaving an abusive relationship.
The first is leaving the familiarity of the family home, followed by "dread" about what it could trigger and risking a loved one being seriously injured or killed.
She told ABC Television's Q&A program on Monday it was a common question, often posed dismissively, about the problem of family violence.
"We say, `Why doesn't she leave?` - sometimes it's because that is the highest point of risk, to be killed or injured," Ms Batty said.
"And sometimes when you're in that type of relationship, all I can say is you have a fear that you can't really explain but it is a dread and it is a fear of what could happen next."
Ms Batty's ex-husband killed their son, Luke, during cricket practice in outer Melbourne in February 2014.
She said rather than focus on why women don't leave, the better question was how best to stop the violence by intervening with programs that give abusers the "opportunity to change their behaviour".
Ms Batty was also asked for her advice to victims of family violence who may be watching the program.
She said they should call a crisis support service when they felt the time was right.
"I would say to you `stay safe but it will never get better and you deserve more'," she said.
Fellow Q&A panel member Simon Santosha, from the Men & Family Counselling and Consultancy service, also said parents needed to ensure their children were given positive images of a healthy relationship and conflict resolution.
Otherwise they would form their views from popular culture and the internet.
"Now there is a big movie out at the moment that everyone is raving about ... Fifty Shades of Grey," Mr Santosha said.
"Twelve, 13, 14, 15-year-olds who are still developing their sexual identity ... are watching these images and it is shaping what they perceive women want, and no one is telling them otherwise.
"If it doesn't start with us, the parents, all they've got is the mobile phone and internet pornography to get their ideas on how to treat women, and that's frightening, that really is frightening."
* Victims of family violence can call the 24-hour service 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732).
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