Bali Nine drug mule Scott Rush says he still suffers from nightmares about being executed, a week after his death sentence was repealed.
In a letter sent to The Age newspaper, Scott said he now feels he has found new purpose and can glimpse life outside the walls of Bali's Kerobokan prison.
Rush said he was in his cell when he received the news that his death sentence had been commuted to life in prison.
"I sat there in silence for a while. I don't know how long but it was quite surreal," the letter to the newspaper said.
"So many emotions welled up in me. It is a hard feeling to describe, a mixture of guilt, a sense of release and the realisation that I have a second chance."
He said his determination to reform was strengthened.
"One dreadful burden has been lifted, a new responsibility has begun," he wrote.
Rush said if he is ever released he wants to be an ambassador against drugs.
"I have met so many people inside Kerobokan prison whose lives have been destroyed by drugs, and (seen) the pain it has caused their families...So I would like to give back to my community and help others say no to drugs," he wrote.
Rush, 25, from Brisbane, had been facing the death penalty for his part in a 2005 plot to smuggle more than 8kg of heroin from Bali into Australia.
One of nine Australians convicted over the drug-smuggling conspiracy, Rush was given life in prison when initially convicted, but had his sentence increased to death at his first appeal.
Rush was only 19, and on his first overseas trip, when he was arrested at Ngurah Rai Airport with 1.3kg of heroin strapped to his legs and body underneath his clothing.
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