An Australian soldier who threw hand grenades into a room killing five Afghan children says he can't atone or do anything to undo the damage.
The former Army Reserve Commando, named only as Lance Corporal Dave, said that day, February 12, 2009, was burned into his brain, changing his life forever.
"I feel like I can't fix it and I can't atone for it. I can't do anything to undo the damage that was done," he told the ABC Television Australian Story program.
Dave and two other Commandos faced manslaughter and other charges over this controversial night raid on an Afghan residential, which was intended to capture a known insurgent leader. All charges were later dropped.
As they searched the compound, an Afghan man inside opened fire with an AK-47.
"He turned and fired towards me, fired probably half a mag (magazine) from one and a half metres away. It was a miracle I wasn't killed," one of the soldiers recounted.
Dave said he was directed to throw one grenade and, as the firing continued, another, into the room. The man and five children inside later died of wounds.
"From the moment I realised there were dead children, I was horrified, numb," he said.
Dave said his most vivid memory of that night was a medic carrying one of the infants in a space blanket.
"You could see the little arm reaching out and the fingers still moving. And I remember thinking at the time, well, at least the babies lived. I was to find out later that they died," he said.
In a document released under Freedom of Information last week, Director of Military Prosecutions Brigadier Lyn McDade said she decided to lay charges against the three soldiers because of their use of hand grenades, an indiscriminate weapon in a confined space.
She said they ought to have known - and during the attack knew for certain - that women and children were present.
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