This article contains references to sexual assault and rape.
Stealthing, the non-consensual removal of a condom during sex, remains poorly understood despite being criminalised in most parts of Australia.
Experts say many people are unaware of what it involves or whether it is illegal, and the practice has become a topic of debate on online forums such as Reddit.
Queries like 'Stealthing — has it happened to you?' or 'Is not telling her the condom is off stealthing?', 'How do I prevent men from trying without a condom?' — are just some of the threads attracting comments and sparking discussions.
So what is it?
Stealthing refers to the non-consensual removal of a condom during sex. It can also refer to purposefully damaging a condom before or during sex.
In addition to violating consent, stealthing increases the risk of unwanted pregnancy and STI transmission.
Is stealthing illegal in Australia?
In recent years, there have been major changes in the law, with stealthing now considered sexual assault or rape in most jurisdictions in Australia.
Brianna Chesser, an associate professor in criminology and justice at RMIT University, told SBS News there has been a push over the last five years to criminalise stealthing.
ACT was the first jurisdiction in Australia to criminalise stealthing in 2021, with other states following suit. Now it's illegal in Tasmania, NSW, Queensland, South Australia and Victoria, and similar reviews are under consideration in Western Australia and the Northern Territory.
Chesser said it's one of those crimes that affects both men and women, heterosexual and homosexual, with sex workers particularly at risk.
A man was found guilty in the ACT Supreme Court of rape earlier this year, after he covertly removed a condom during an encounter with a sex worker. He was sentenced to two years in jail while another case is before the courts in NSW.
Chesser said it's hard to know exactly how many people have been charged with sexual assault or rape as a direct result of stealthing because the crime is not specifically listed in crime statistics — instead, it's often categorised under broader sexual assault or rape offences.
"Stealthing is often an aggravating factor," Chesser said.
"And it doesn't often exist alone in terms of the suite of sexual offence charges that perpetrators are charged with. So it really is difficult for us to be able to track how successful this criminalisation has been."
What makes stealthing more complex is that while consent may have been given to penetrative sex with a condom, it does not then automatically imply consent to sex without one.
Lack of awareness and myths
Vijay Ramanathan is a senior lecturer at The University of Sydney and also an accredited psychosexual therapist and educator.
He said stealthing is an act that can occur out of entitlement and apathy rather than an intent to harm.
"That can have quite devastating consequences for the victim," he told SBS News.
Ramanathan said there is a need to educate people about myths related to condom use, and rather than looking at issues related to consent, the bigger question is — why would a man remove a condom?
"There are a number of reasons. One is somehow they have programmed it in their mind that having a condom is not going to give the same pleasure as doing sex without a condom. So they have somehow had that thought in their mind to start with," he said.
He said some men also believe when a partner asks them to wear a condom, it signals a lack of trust.
"The third one I can think of is: I know this person, they are not at risk of infection. Or I know for sure that there is no risk of pregnancy, therefore we don't need a condom," he said.
While stealthing can have very real physical consequences, such as an unexpected pregnancy or an STI, experts warn the psychological effects can also be serious. Source: Getty / Ekaterina Goncharova
A Tinder and YouGov Consent Study in 2023 with over 2,000 dating app users (18 to 40 years) found 25 per cent of gen Z and millennial respondents mistakenly believed stealthing was a consensual activity, or were unsure about its legality.
In September last year, Tinder launched a consent course in Australia in collaboration with sexual consent activist Chanel Contos and the Women's Services Network, a peak body for domestic and family violence services.
Contos said there is a need to improve education on the nuances of consent to help prevent stealthing.
"Stealthing is a uniquely delicate crime because in order for stealthing to occur, you would've had to consent to sex with a condom. And this can be really tricky for victims because it means that you very likely have positive feelings towards the person who's done this to you," she said.
The Commonwealth Consent Policy Framework, which focuses on sexual violence prevention, outlines five essential concepts for sexual consent: free and voluntary, specific and informed, affirmative and communicated, ongoing and mutual and reflecting capacity.
Mental and physical consequences
Physically, there's an increased risk of sexually transmitted infections and, for women, unplanned pregnancy.
Emotionally, there can also be a sense of trauma for some people and confusion, as there is often a perception that sexual assault is connected to physical force.
Ramanathan said trauma comes in different forms, depths and consequences, adding that sex is meant to be a mutually satisfying experience, but if a partner removes the condom during the act, it could lead to a breach of trust.
"That feeling has long-term consequences," he said.
"They're going to be thinking with every other person they're going to engage in sex with; and that translates into other aspects of life. It really makes it very difficult for people who have gone through this experience to trust anybody for anything. It is an assault."
If you or someone you know is impacted by sexual assault, call 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732, text 0458 737 732, or visit 1800RESPECT.org.au. In an emergency, call 000.
Mental Health (e.g. if don’t want to suggest suicide)
Readers seeking support with mental health can contact Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636. More information is available at beyondblue.org.au. Embrace Multicultural Mental Health supports people from culturally and linguistically diverse backgrounds.
