Birth fathers have been invisible in the adoption discourse for many and varied reasons. In the Forced Adoption era, it is assumed that fathers didn’t care about their pregnant girlfriend / partner and their child, and/or that they were not told of the pregnancy. Whilst in some circumstances this has been true, what is little-known and what we see in practice is that some fathers did care, and fought alongside their partners for the right to keep their baby. These will be the fathers I am referring to in this article.
Some couples had plans to marry, yet this was not enough to enable them to keep their children. In current times, this thinking seems so unfair, unjust and unethical, and it was, but this was what was accepted as ‘best practice’ at the time. Authorities, social workers and hospital staff had a great deal of power and it was very difficult for those who were not married to fight against this and keep their children. Many also did not have the support of their families to keep their babies, as the shame and stigma of pregnancy outside of marriage ran deeply.
Mothers wore the brunt of this social shame and were often sent away, out of sight, to continue their pregnancies and forced to have their babies in circumstances where they were unsupported. They were alone, away from family and friends, and often treated harshly, and this was seen as a punishment for their ‘wrongdoing’. Fathers were not sent away to hide in shame because their part in the pregnancy was not visible, it was covered up, or just plain ignored. For those fathers who wanted to be involved, they were kept out of any decision making, and had no power against authorities and family members who ‘knew best’.
It was common practice to not record the names of fathers if the couple were not married. The records generally stated that a mother was single; giving the impression that there was no father of any significance, with no thought given to the importance of recording his name along with that of the mothers.
Fathers were not sent away to hide in shame because their part in the pregnancy was not visible ... [But] for those fathers who wanted to be involved, they were kept out of any decision making.
Another complication is that if a mother had been married but was separated and in a new relationship that resulted in a pregnancy, there was a practice of recording the name of her husband as the father on the child’s birth certificate, because she was still legally married. This was despite telling authorities that her new partner was the father. These kinds of practices are difficult to comprehend, and cause a great deal of confusion when people are searching. It also means there is factually incorrect information on important identifying documentation. This makes it more problematic for adoptees who want information on their birth fathers, as often the only person who can tell them is their birth mother. If she is unable to be found, or if there is some reason that she is unable to tell them, then they may never find out.
There are many times when mothers have been looking at the adoption records for the first time and see ‘father unknown’ or ‘father unnamed’ when they had in fact told people who the father was. This is confronting for mothers and it is at these times when we hear the stories of fathers being at the hospital corridors during labour and birth, and who wanted to be named as the father. However, this was ignored. Adoptees also see this information on their records and ask ‘why isn’t my father’s name there?’
When fathers call our service for support with searching, we caution them with regards not to have an expectation that their names will be recorded, even if they recall insisting on this at the time of their child’s birth. If they cannot give enough information to the State Adoption Agency that proves they are the birth father, their chance of getting the information is small.
It’s not easy for an adoptee to get the name of their birth father, nor for birth fathers to get information about their children ... even when fathers were known, their names were most often not recorded.
Equally, when adoptees want to search for their birth father, we need to engage in a similar conversation, and this can leave adoptees confused and at a loss because information that should be available to them is not. It is difficult to understand the rationale of a practice that thought it was ok to disregard an adoptees’ history.
There are different laws in different states which govern access to information, and I have been talking about what we see from a South Australian perspective. However, overall, it’s not easy for an adoptee to get the name of their birth father, nor for birth fathers to get information about their children should they wish to search for them, because even when fathers were known, their names were most often not recorded.
Nikki Hartmann is the manager of Post and Forced Adoption Services, SA. She is a guest on Insight: Forgotten Fathers | Catch up online now:
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