'A uniquely delicate crime': Dangers of stealthing poorly understood by Australians

Male hands opening condom

Stealthing is now considered sexual assault or rape in all states and territories in Australia, excluding the Northern Territory (Getty) Source: iStockphoto / KatarzynaBialasiewicz/Getty Images/iStockphoto

Stealthing, the removal of a condom during sex without a partner's knowledge or consent, has in recent years become a criminal offence in almost all parts of Australia. But experts say there is still a lack of awareness about what stealthing is and the dangers it poses.


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TRANSCRIPT

It's a topic debated on chat forums such as Reddit.

Queries like "Stealthing has it happened to you?" or "Is not telling her the condom is off stealthing?" - "How do I prevent men from trying without a condom?" are just some of the threads attracting comment and discussion.

Stealthing is the non-consensual removal of a condom during sex; or the non-use of a condom during sex without consent.

In recent years there have been major changes in the law, with stealthing now considered sexual assault or rape in Australia.

Brianna Chesser is an associate professor in criminology at RMIT University.

"In the last five or so years there's been quite a big push in Australia to criminalise stealthing. The ACT was the first jurisdiction in Australia to criminalise; and then Victoria, Queensland, New South Wales, South Australia have all followed suit. In fact the only state that we're waiting for now is Northern Territory."

Dr Chesser says it’s one of those crimes that affects both men and women - both heterosexual and homosexual - with sex workers at particular risk.

In Canberra earlier this year, a man was found guilty in the ACT Supreme Court of rape, after he covertly removed a condom during an encounter with a sex worker.

He was sentenced to two years in jail by the same court; and another case is currently before the courts in New South Wales.

Dr Chesser says it's hard to know exactly how many people have been charged with sexual assault or rape as a direct result of stealthing.

"Look at is really difficult to be able to track how many people have been charged with stealthing. It's not reported on specifically in crime statistics. It's incorporated in the sexual assault offences. And what we're finding is that stealthing is often an aggravating factor and it doesn't often exist alone in terms of the suite of sexual offence charges that perpetrators are charged with. So it really is difficult for us to be able to track how successful this criminalisation has been."

What makes stealthing more complicated is that initially consent would have been given to a sexual act.

But consenting to one sexual act, penetrative sex with a condom, does not then automatically imply consent to sex without a condom.

There is also still a lack of community awareness about what stealthing is.

"My honest opinion would be, no they may not be aware that this is illegal, but I'm sure the general public would be aware that this is unethical or immoral."

That's Dr Vijay Ramanathan, a senior lecturer at the University of Sydney and also an accredited psychosexual therapist and educator.

Other research supports Dr Ramanathan's assertion that there is still a lack of community awareness that stealthing is now a crime in most of Australia.

He says there also needs to be more education about myths related to condom use.

"We don't know if they got consent in the first place. So let's not go into the consent element. Let's practically look at why men remove condoms. There are a number of reasons. One is somehow they have programmed it in their mind that having a condom is not going to give the same pleasure as doing sex without a condom. So they have somehow had that thought in their mind to start with."

Dr Ramanathan also says some men think that if a partner asks for a condom it conveys a lack of trust in them.

"They sometimes think without condom, direct skin-to-skin contact demonstrates the highest level of trust in the other person - or demonstrating that they are trustworthy. So that could be another reason. The third one I can think of is: I know this person they are not at risk of infection. Or I know for sure that is no risk of pregnancy, therefore we don't need a condom. But any decision that is being made at the heat of the moment, it's never going to be a rational decision and there is always going to be consequences."

Dating app Tinder has done its own research - called the Consent Study - in collaboration with YouGov in 2023.

The online survey involved just over 2,000 participants aged 18-40 who had used dating apps at some point.

It found 25 per cent of those Gen Z and Millennial dating app users mistakenly believe stealthing is a consensual activity; or are unsure about its legality.

In September last year, Tinder launched a consent course in Australia in collaboration with Chanel Contos, founder of Teach Us Consent and the Women's Services Network- a national group for specialist women's domestic and family violence services.

Ms Contos says there is a clear need to improve the education on the nuances of consent.

 "Stealthing is a uniquely delicate crime because in order for stealthing to occur, you would've had to consent to sex with a condom. And this can be really tricky for victims because it means that you very likely have positive feelings towards the person who's done this to you. What this means is all of the barriers to reporting that already exists with crimes of sexual assault are increased and heightened. You may not be as willing to report or to confront, and it might cause a lot of confused emotions because of the unique type of crime that this is.''

So what are the consequences of stealthing?
 
They can be physical and emotional.

An increased risk of sexually transmitted infections; and for women, unplanned pregnancy.

There can also be a sense of trauma for some people and confusion, as there is often a perception that sexual assault is connected to physical force.

Dr Ramanathan again:

"Trauma comes in different sizes and forms and shapes and consequence and depth. The fact that somebody is in a sexual situation, what is meant to be a mutually satisfying experience and getting to know that the other person removed the condom halfway through, is a breach of trust. And that feeling has long-term consequences. They're going to be thinking with every other person they're going to engage in sex with; and that translates into other aspects of life. It really makes it very difficult for people who have gone through this experience to trust anybody for anything. It is an assault."

Chanel Contos says legal changes have made it easier to incorporate discussion about stealthing into education resources for younger people.

Her organisation Teach Us Consent, heavily advocated for stealthing criminalisation and also launched a campaign that successfully helped mandate consent education in Australia.

 "We were advocating for stealthing criminalisation a few years back in South Australia and Queensland particularly, and we were successful in that reform as an organisation. It was a very normalised form of sexual violence. It is act that can occur out of entitlement and apathy rather than an intent to harm. That can have quite devastating consequences for the victim. And because of that, it is something that is very common and very misunderstood by our society as an act of sexual violence. So it felt very important to use legislation change as a tool here to raise awareness."

The Commonwealth Consent Policy Framework - which focuses on sexual violence prevention - states there are five core concepts of consent.

They must be free and voluntary, specific and informed, affirmative and communicated, ongoing and mutual, and must also reflect capacity.

Listeners seeking support can call 1800RESPECT or Lifeline on 13 11 14.

Sexual assault can be reported to the police; and there are also alternative assault reporting options in New South Wales and Queensland.


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'A uniquely delicate crime': Dangers of stealthing poorly understood by Australians | SBS News