Australia

Teenager comes out as gay in Sydney Catholic school assembly

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Exclusive: Finn Stannard tells SBS News why he chose to share his journey to accepting his sexuality with 1,500 people, as footage of his powerful speech is released.

When Finn Stannard stood up in front of more than 1,500 students and teachers at his Sydney school, it was to say something he’d been weighing up for a long time.

“I have been working towards this speech for four years,” the then 17-year-old revealed to a packed assembly hall at St Ignatius' College, Riverview, earlier this year.

Then he told them all he was gay.  

Finn Stannard
Finn Stannard making his keynote address.
St Ignatius’ / SBS News

“Announcing yourself to the world is pretty terrifying,” he said in a video of the speech released exclusively through SBS News. “What if the world doesn’t like you?”

Announcing yourself to the world is pretty terrifying.

- Finn Stannard

“Life was easier living as the straight eldest son. I had spent so long behind the façade of a confident, heterosexual man that I wasn’t sure if I knew how to be me.” 

READ MORE: See Finn's full speech here

Finn, who has just finished his HSC, now hopes sharing his keynote address - written to a younger version of himself - might help “all those people who are lost”, just as he was.

“I think that’s really the biggest reason I made sure I got up onto that stage and gave the speech,” he told SBS News. “I don’t think anybody should have to go through the feeling of loss that I felt like I’d gone through.”

Finn Stannard
Finn has just finished his HSC.
SBS News

Finn’s speech in June was bookended by at times fierce national debates about sexual orientation, most recently whether religious schools should have the right to discriminate against gay staff and students.

Two of St Ignatius’ most prominent alumni, former prime minister Tony Abbott and his former deputy Barnaby Joyce, were high-profile opponents of same-sex marriage in the lead up to last year’s plebiscite.  

For Finn - who will next year begin university studies to become a secondary school teacher - it was the resounding victory of the Yes vote that gave him the confidence to press ahead with his idea of doing the assembly.

“When the results of the plebiscite came out, that’s when I knew that I could do the speech and it would be alright in the end,” he said.

Finn Stannard
Finn's speech received a standing ovation.

St Ignatius' principal Paul Hine described Finn’s speech as a “watershed” moment for the college, which wanted to support his decision to publicly share his story and its message of acceptance.

“I'm not sure anyone chooses their sexuality, that's who they are and therefore we need to be open to that and to accept it and to make sure we live in communities of inclusion - and with that will come diversity,” Dr Hine told SBS News.

We need to make sure we live in communities of inclusion - and with that will come diversity.

- Paul Hine, St Ignatius' principal 

“Certainly that's the case in the world beyond so in my view that should be the case in schools.”

Finn, who is quick to acknowledge the support he received from the school, his family and friends, said there was no example of an openly gay student to look to when he was struggling to come to terms with his sexuality as a 13-year-old.

Instead, his speech detailed the toll of “countless rumours and unpleasant jokes”, as well depression and anxiety compounded by the word “gay” being used as a throwaway playground jibe.

“It was these, seemingly small, yet cumulative experiences that made me feel like I would never be accepted,” he told the room.

Finn Stannard
Finn, right, with his father and brothers, said he had his family's full support.
Finn Stannard / SBS News

Finn told the assembly that his own experience demonstrated the importance of asking for help, as well as stepping up to help those in need - a message he hoped would resonate with those coming to terms with any aspect of their identity.

“Being different, whether it’s being gay or being part of another minority group, can be challenging but it does not have to be scary and isolating,” he told the room.

“Every single one of you can help, in your own way, by accepting others for exactly who they are.”

His speech was not the first time the school’s annual ‘friends listen’ assembly has sought to break down taboos. In a 2015 speech that later went viral, school captain Xavier Eales opened up about his battle with depression.

Finn’s mother Megan Stannard, who admits to being concerned about a potential backlash, said the family was instead overwhelmed by the standing ovation the speech received.

“The fact that Finn was supported, the fact that his message was heard - I was in tears,” she said. “I was just so proud of him.”

Finn Stannard
Finn, centre, with his boyfriend Tom Moiso, left, and a friend at his school formal.
Finn Stannard / SBS News

The benefits have continued to flow since. Mrs Stannard said she has seen a new confidence in her son, as well as a recognition that he can make a difference to others.

“I think that’s any parent’s dream - to see them flourish,” she said.

Finn has since been approached by other students at the school who were struggling with their sexuality. And earlier this month he took his boyfriend Tom Moiso, 18, to his school formal.

“I think the best part was seeing all these other people with their dates and not feeling any different,” Finn said.

Anyone needing support can contact Kids helpline: kidshelpline.com.au / 1800 55 1800, NSW counselling service twenty10.org.au, or call Lifeline on 13 11 14. 

Would you like to share your story with SBS News? Email: yourstory@sbs.com.au

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