This is 23-year-old Jarrah’s experience of living with the condition. He hopes speaking out encourages greater acceptance.
They were definitely more peaceful times back then. I used to do a lot of running as a kid. I was never overweight and my health wasn’t an issue. I wasn’t really aware of my own body.
When I was in year seven at high school we had an annual swimming carnival. As a house captain, you had to compete in at least one event.
I took my gear off and jumped in. When I came out and dried myself off there were ten or fifteen kids around all saying offensive things - ‘ladyboy’, ‘fag’, and yelling out ‘he’s got tits’.
It was a rude shock. I went back home and talked to my old man about it and he laughed it off. It made me afraid of people. I was just twelve years old - after that, I always kept my school jumper on.
Now I get band-aids and tape them down. I spend the last 15 minutes before leaving the house trying to flatten it out. I’ll stand in the mirror pushing my chest out to make sure you can’t see it.
The anxiety is too overwhelming, it’s David and Goliath. Sometimes I overheat because I’m too afraid to take my jacket off in front of people.
In summer I don’t generally leave the house. I hate myself because I can’t bring myself to go out and just jump in the water - that means taking my top off. I’ve been trying to get myself down to the gym but it’s a hard thing to do because my self-confidence is gone
I don’t like meeting new people. I’m afraid to make new friends.
No-one knows the real me. I don’t know the real me outside of this.
It’s affected my relationships. It’s all good until it gets sexual and then there’s that hurdle there. The shirt wouldn’t come off at all or it would be dark. I expect the girls I’ve been with will just run off, but they haven’t, which is great. It’s dudes who have made it hard.
I’m sick of hiding it and I want to go out and experience the world instead of what I’ve made it in my own head.
I’m speaking out now because I know there are others suffering and they’re not being heard. They’re sitting in their bedrooms wondering ‘why do I have this’?
I want to be proud of my body and I think everyone has that right.
I don’t know if I would get surgery if I could afford it because it’s part of who I am. Showing people and telling people is making my path easier. If people know about it then I have nothing to hide.
If you would like to talk to someone about your mental health, here are some people ready for your call:
• beyondblue support service line 1300 22 46 36
