Why do men send dick pics to women? Some research and popular commentary suggests it's narcissism and over-confidence. Some men, no doubt, send them in the hope they'll get a nude photo in return or because they genuinely believe that’s what women want to see.
In pop commentary, the dick pic is mostly seen as sexual harassment (often, rightly so); an attempt to make women feel threatened in online spaces. Women have pushed back with public shaming and calling for dick pics to be prosecuted under the law. In Victoria, it is now illegal to engage in malicious sexting.
But research by myself and Tinonee Pym has uncovered a more complicated picture. Looking at social media, online news articles, comics, and blogs, we examined how people, and in particular women, are “speaking back” to dick pics.
In Victoria, it is now illegal to engage in malicious sexting.
We found that while they were often understood as a form of sexual violence, they were also often regarded as funny or mocked for being gross. Some women actually liked receiving dick pics; others treated them playfully.
Straight men were also sending each other dick pics as a form of bonding known as “frexting”. As one bloke put it, “if you don’t send dick pics to your boys, they’re not your boys”. It can be difficult for men to discuss anxieties relating to their body image and genitalia. For some men, dick pics may be an expression of these anxieties.
New Zealand-based Madeline Holden’s blog, CritiqueMyDickPic, invites people to send in dick pics for her appraisal. She notes that some men who approach her for a critique are in need of reassurance regarding the look of their genitalia. Holden’s blog invites all users (transgender, gay, heterosexual, those using strap-ons, etc) to submit photos. This challenges the idea that only cisgender, hetero men can send dick pics. She offers a space in which these photos can been seen as beautiful, artistic, and erotic, rather than inherently violent and aggressive.
If you don’t send dick pics to your boys, they’re not your boys.
Another blog, Yourdicklooksgreatinthoseheels, features photos of erect and flaccid penises inserted into high heeled shoes accompanied with witty captions.
Some argue that unsolicited dick pics are common, and expected, within gay and bisexual men’s dating cultures, where many men are happy to get such pictures, and usually respond by send back pics of their own. (Mind you, others point out that unsolicited dick pics are a no in these circles too.)
Recognising the various meanings of dick pics is not meant to undermine people’s experiences of finding them harmful, nor is it to excuse those who send unwanted, unsolicited photos. But dick pics don’t have to be creepy or even outlawed. Between consenting adults, or in certain online spaces, like Holden’s blog, they can be seen as fun, even sexy.
Dr Andrea Waling is a Research Fellow at the Australian Research Centre in Sex, Health and Society at La Trobe University.
