While we're almost positive our monarch would delight in tucking into a Mexican 'drowned' spicy shredded beef roll, we're sure her minders would disapprove of her doning a bib for the occasion. After all, one does not have one's elbows on the table when one eats – or licks spicy tomato sauce from their fingers.
Drowned spicy shredded beef roll
We suspect our Queen has nibbled on a frog leg or two in her life of dining among dignitaries, but we doubt Luke Nguyen's rice paddy frog curry is going to make it onto the birthday menu this year – or any other year, for that matter. Not least because London isn't known for its plentiful rice paddies.
Rice paddy frog curry
It simply would not do for guests of Her Majesty to be served any foods that may cause offence to herself or to each other. In light of this, we fully expect for Yotam Ottolenghi's broad bean spread with roasted garlic ricotto to not make it onto a cracker in the presence of the Queen. Of course, we expect you to get busy making it.
Broad bean spread with roasted garlic ricotta
The only crabs you'll find at Buckingham Palace will be picked and spread with a lethal dose of mayo onto a finger of pristine white bread. There's certainly no cause to go around cracking claws like a barbarian at a barbecue. While we'd love to see the starched tablecloth from the banquet table replaced with newspapers for this County Kerry crab boil, we deem it unlikely.
Crab boil
Her Majesty's staff must provide an exacting standard of hospitality for her esteemed guests. Anything at all alarming, such as the chilli and Sichuan peppercorn in this vegetarian mapo tofu must be exterminated. Just imagine the kerfuffle an errant peppercorn may cause!
Vegetarian mapo tofu with shitake mushrooms Source: Benito Martin
It's a safe bet that the only foods served on sticks at the royal table are those skewered by a cocktail toothpick. To that end, we doubt there's a corn dog vendor stationed at one end of the dining hall, passing out these battered frankfurts to eager guests. And they call this a party?!
Corn dog
A birthday tipple is a harmless thing. A snifter of port or sherry, perhaps? But one must keep themselves together in the presence of Her Majesty and a liberal portion of this Pedro Ximinez jelly might just be the jolly guest's undoing. To keep wayward revellers on the straight and narrow, we imagine a rather less-boozy dessert will be served.
Pedro Ximinez jelly with chocolate and caramel layers Source: Feast magazine
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