“Goodbye, Ida,” I sobbed, to Ida. To Bertha, I said, “Oh, Bertha. Be in touch!” The ladies, Australorp and Orpington respectively, said nothing at our farewell.
Ida’s silence came as no great shock; she’s rather self-possessed, and would prefer a dust bath to any display of human sentiment. But, I cannot say that Bertha’s ongoing failure to send a single text message—even an emoji—doesn’t still hurt. Chook-minding turned out to be an emotional business.
Somewhere inside the six weeks I became known (to myself, mostly) as Helen the Poultry Farmer, it became clear that eggs are not formed by machines, but by dear creatures; a species often, and justifiably, loud and proud when declaring their efforts.
It is not news that hen’s eggs are the eggs made by hens. The fact may have been made known to you, as it was to me, by picture-book in very early life. But, when this fact was observed, poached or baked in my everyday life, it became quite profoundly understood.
It became clear that eggs are not formed by machines, but by dear creatures.
Pre-Bertha, eggs had been a near-perfect ingredient. Post-Bertha, eggs became, if not quite a miracle, much more than a staple.
But, what a staple. Eggs lend the brownie its structure, a thrill to congee, such silky ease to pasta-making. The fettucine first-timer will find that matching one egg to every 100 grams of flour produces actual, roll-able noodles.
Oh, and eggs are a good source of nutrition, perhaps with fewer downsides than previously supposed. This month, SBS news reported on findings, consistent with the emerging view, that eggs do not increase the risk of poor cardiovascular health. Eggs!
This global food is cracked so variously, not only by nation, but by culture, language-group and postcode. Behold omelette with cincalok (fermented krill) from Nyonya Malaysian kichens and then, the egg gravy of wat tan hor, from Cantonese Malaysian hotplates. Yes to both.
This food demands respect. As a spot of chook-sitting revealed, eggs are an act of creation made possible not just by nature, but by the effort of some very social girls.
Eggs can fire up a day. The spice of huevos rancheros makes the most demanding dawn do-able. As for shakshuka: the proof of this baked pleasure is in its constant movement. From Tunisia, it leapt to the tables of the Middle East, and now is eaten in Australia, often many hours after the brunch window is shut.
Eggs bring quick, cheap, protein-rich flavour to any non-vegan with a stovetop and a few minutes to spare. They can also bring out the alchemist, even in an average cook like me.
Cloud eggs, AKA oeufs à la neige, are a challenge I’ll leave to Heston and high-end Instagrammers. I pursue the perfect poach instead. Methods are various, but all of them faster than Onsen Tamago. It’s a day spa for eggs and requires 45 minutes of dedicated temperature control. But, no other technique turns out such firm but tender whites and custardy yolks. It’s a bold claim, but this in-shell sous-vide treatment really does out-poach the rest.
This food demands respect. As a spot of chook-sitting revealed, eggs are an act of creation made possible not just by nature, but by the effort of some very social girls. If you have the necessary time, yard and pleasant neighbours, consider the chook—or, several, as they do enjoy a gossip. These happy hens produce food, fertiliser and fowl entertainment.
"Eggs can bring out the alchemist, even in an average cook like me." Source: Alan Benson
This chook-human interdependence winds back to pre-history, and until we are able to unwind the cruelty to which our friends are now subject, we must approach the words “free range” with caution. There are moves to safeguard against the use of the term, and SBS Food will continue to report on the best means to judge it.
Bertha and Ida made the importance of their freedom and the greatness of their eggs fully known to me. I will honour the ladies, and their species, by checking in on their liberty and labels, and by baking a lemon meringue pie quite soon.
Helen Razer is your frugal food enthusiast, guiding you to the good eats, minus the pretension and price tag in her weekly Friday column, Cheap Tart. Don't miss her next instalment, follow her on Twitter @HelenRazer.
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