Content warning: This episode contains frank sexual discussion.
In the weeks leading up to her marriage, Aya was preoccupied with one overriding thought: her wedding night.
The 31-year-old freelance writer from Cairo said she was both excited and nervous ahead of her May nuptials with 36-year-old architect Ahmed.
Out of respect for Egyptian law and tradition, the couple chose to not be intimate before marriage, though they had talked about it.
"It is a mixture of enthusiasm and stress. I think it is normal to feel this way," Aya, who had basic sex education at school, told Dateline.
"It is not something that I have previous experience in ... I feel like it's all something that is very intimate.
"It would make me a bit anxious and tense."
Aya (right) was nervous about being intimate for the first time on her wedding night, while Ahmed said he felt no stress because he'd had sex before. Source: SBS
Ahmed said he had "no stress" about physical intimacy on his wedding night because he'd had sex before.
He lost his virginity at 23 to a previous long-term partner who he'd been with for eight years — a fact he'd disclosed to Aya.
"The first time ... It was scary and beautiful at the same time. It has its own special kind of feeling, because it was based on love … Even though I was inexperienced, I enjoyed it a lot."
In Egypt, sex before marriage is considered Haram or forbidden by Sharia law. It's largely assumed that young people don't need to know about it until they are married. So in schools, sex education is almost non-existent.
Ahmed said many men in Egypt teach themselves about sex by doing it in secret, or by talking with friends.
"No-one teaches us. So we can find out and educate ourselves."
Egypt has one of the youngest populations in the world, and teenagers are growing up with almost no sex education. Source: Getty / Marco Di Lauro
Even some married couples don't understand sex, he said.
"Unfortunately, neither [the man] nor his wife has information. For both of them, it is very limited."
He used his parents' tale of how he came into the world as an example.
"The story had to do with a cockroach. Mum told me that they put the cockroach under the rug, then … 'We removed the rug, and you came out'.
"This is one of the things that we learn, and which is wrong. We end up in deep trouble."
Filling the information void
Egypt has one of the youngest populations in the world; over 50 per cent of Egyptians are under the age of 25 and nearly 70 per cent are under the age of 35.
And they're growing up with almost no sex education.
Divorce rates are high in Egypt, a phenomena that's been partly blamed on people's lack of sex education and sexual experience before marriage. Source: Getty / Noppawat Tom Charoensinphon
Nour Emam, a 33-year-old mother of two, is leading a fem-tech company called Motherbeing, which is attempting the unthinkable: talking about sex online, in Arabic, to fill a multi-generational knowledge gap.
Using Instagram, Tiktok and podcasts, Motherbeing delivers unfiltered sex education to more than 3.1 million followers.
There's even an AI-driven app that helps answer user questions, such as if a woman is allowed to make noises during sex, or if ejaculation on a woman's body can lead to pregnancy.
Nour Emam is teaching Egyptians about sex through social media and podcasts. Source: SBS
"We're showing what happens during intercourse, with ejaculation for example, and why pregnancy can happen in the first place. These are all concepts that are not familiar to a lot of women," she told Dateline.
She said many married women have little understanding about how their bodies work.
"[They've] never held a mirror to their parts to understand what's going on down there."
"No-one teaches you about marital sex … because there's a fear that if we talk to you about sex, we're automatically encouraging you to have premarital sex, which is not the case."
Disconnection leading to divorce
This lack of preparation in navigating the complex dynamics of love, relationships, marriage and intimacy leaves many married Egyptians struggling to understand their own needs — and those of their partner.
Divorce rates are a concern for the Egyptian government.
Around 26 per cent of marriages end in divorce, according to 2024 government figures. Meanwhile, a 2022 government study found divorce rates in Egypt were among the highest in the Arab world, alongside Kuwait, Qatar and Jordan.
This is a problem for those with conservative religious beliefs, including President Abdel Fattah El-Sisi, who said the divorce rate may even dissuade young people in Egypt from wanting to get married and start a family.
Egypt's Coptic Christians, who make up around 10 per cent of the population, now must take premarital sex ed classes before they marry.
In Egypt's Christian church, divorce isn't tolerated, so these lessons aim to improve knowledge and expectations to help marital relations.
"One of the main reasons for marital problems and separation is the lack of sexual satisfaction, where couples struggle to connect on a sexual level, which is a fundamental part of marriage, so we can't just gloss over it," said Hanan Hosni Hanin, who led a class attended by Dateline.
"In Christian marriage, there is no divorce. So, they need to be sure they are making the right decision."
Egypt's Coptic Christians must take premarital sex ed classes before their wedding. Source: SBS
The women were encouraged to relax to make sex less painful, while the men unlearned misconceptions they'd picked up on the street.
"If you think pornography represents real sex, you are mistaken and will be disappointed after marriage," the male lecturer told the class.
"So, do not allow pornographic films into your home or life, as they can greatly affect your enjoyment of intimacy in your marriage.
"Women desire care, attention, and romance," he added.
After the class, students were warned not to transgress and engage in sex before marriage.
"Maintain your self-respect until the last moment," Hanin said.
Egyptian Muslims, meanwhile, are left to navigate sex on their own.
In the past, it was tradition for a bride's mother to sit with her before the first night, to explain what her daughter can expect.
Sadly for Aya, her mother died just before she got engaged.
Shaking off generational shame
While Aya wants to respect tradition, she also wants an open relationship with her body and to free herself of the generational shame her parents grew up with.
Before their wedding night, Aya and Ahmed downloaded the Motherbeing app.
"I don't like the unknown … so the more I know about something, the more I'll be able to predict or understand what I'm going for, which will reassure me more," Aya said.
But despite her concerns, Aya and Ahmed's said their wedding night was a success.
Aya said their first night together went "even better and smoother than I had expected".
