Comment: Caste and religion, once important in Indian matches, are becoming less relevant

Now you can meet people and date outside old cultural boundaries with the click of a button, writes Catherine Scott about her Dateline story on India's Love Detectives.

Nijeel and Agnelo’s is a 'love marriage' rather than a traditional arranged marriage. They were initially worried about how their families would react. Source: SBS Dateline

When I first came across Rajani Pandit she immediately conjured up images of that famous Botswanan character, Precious Ramotswe, from The No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency.  The fact that there could be a real life Indian version of such a person was a pretty exciting thought.

But when I started looking into it, I was really surprised to find just how many lady detectives there actually are in India. All of them specialising in the curious trade of pre- and post-matrimonial cases.

These are detectives who investigate potential partners to ensure a good marriage or uncover unfaithful husbands or wives trying to bust out of an existing one. This might seem a bit salacious or even trivial to some, but the stakes are very high for the families.

Speaking with Rajani for Dateline and learning more about the nature of each client’s transgression, it becomes obvious to me that something much bigger is at play - a major social shift in urban India.

Every ‘love detective’ I speak to claims demand is sky rocketing. More and more young middle class men and women now live in big cities amidst the bling of Bollywood, smartphones, WhatsApp and Facebook.

Filming on the streets, it seems if you own anything in urban India, it’s a mobile phone. Online dating is big and getting bigger (you Google shaadi.com) with millions moving to websites to find love and many prepared to break all sorts of social taboos to get it.

Caste and religion, once hugely important in Indian matches, are slowly but surely becoming less relevant. Now you can meet people and date outside old cultural boundaries with the click of a button.

But while the internet can liberate, it can also hurt. And as if taking cues from Catfish, millennials are finding that the internet can break hearts as much as it can match them – most of it boiling down to people not always being who they say they are.

This is creating a cultural gulf between the generations and in places like Mumbai, love detective Rajani Pandit sees herself as a person who can help bridge this gap.

Catherine and Rajani at her office in Mumbai. Source: SBS Dateline

When I first meet Rajani she is quick to introduce herself as the first lady detective of India. Her office walls are jam packed with awards and trophies that span her 30 year career.

My favourite is a wall of newspaper clippings, all of which feature her, calling her names like ‘India’s Super Sleuth’, ‘Ms Sherlock’ and ‘Lady Bond’.

Rajani's scrapbook of cuttings shows one of her nicknames, Lady Bond. Source: SBS Dateline

But in real life, Rajani quietly goes about her cases utterly devoted to the work. She tells me she even knocked back an offer to become the Mayor of Mumbai at one time.

For her, this is not just a job, it’s a vocation. Before leaving Mumbai, Rajani’s nephew Adi tells me their house acts like a temple, but with one key difference.

You see in India, at the top of every temple sits a dome which collects the worries and problems of the people who kneel beneath them. But in Rajani’s home, there is no dome.

So the worries and problems of the people who come to her are carried on her shoulders and those of her family.

“She’s doing a really noble cause,” says Adi. “But it’s difficult experiencing the problems people face.” Rajani takes her mission to heart, never turning off her phone.

Rajani's nephew Adi takes a behind the scenes family photo with Catherine and Producer Calliste Weitenberg. Source: SBS Dateline

Filming on location we often joke about how we’re in the hands of the ‘video gods’, and on this story they certainly seemed to deliver.

Rajani turns out to be an extraordinary character. A warm, strong woman with a wicked sense of humour who generously gives us access to her world.  

She allows us to film sensitive client meetings, invites us to accompany her on stake-outs and even takes us home to meet the family… all of whom live right next door to her office.

In a funny twist, it quickly becomes apparent she is more focused than anything on trying to fatten up our producer. Each time go out to film, she quickly pulls out yet another tasty snack, insisting that Calliste eat it. But this is Rajani’s way and it’s just how she is with her clients.

She doesn’t just investigate, uncover and deliver information, but counsels and genuinely cares for the people she encounters.

Wherever you point your camera in India you can’t help but capture the old world all mixed up with the new. And what I love about Rajani is that she herself seems to be the living embodiment of this cultural duality.

We are constantly trying to keep up with her contradictions. She pioneers a new career going undercover in disguises and yet dresses in a traditional sari at home. She supports old customs like arranged marriage but won’t have a bar of it herself, bypassing the entire marriage option altogether.

There you have it, embracing the old and yet paving a way for the new. I can’t help but think that Rajani is my kind of woman.

With all the colourful characters, laughter and rollicking good times behind the scenes linked to this one unusual job, I can’t help but think… after centuries of ethnic and religious divide and a strictly enforced caste system, could the simple act of falling in love with the ‘wrong’ person do what many social movements and laws have failed to? Make India a fairer, more tolerant and egalitarian society. Even if it means a few broken hearts along the way.

See Catherine's full story, India's Love Detectives: