“I died for 30 minutes”: Why I wanted a fake funeral

Fake funerals are being used in South Korea as a way of being ‘reborn’, releasing depression and stress. Sydney student Christine Heiyeon Myung explains why she decided to take part in this extreme ceremony and what she learnt about her life.

Christine Heiyeon Myung lying in her coffin during the fake funeral ceremony. Source: SBS Dateline

First of all, this wasn’t about seeing a new world after death. For me doing a fake funeral was about trying something new. To see what I could learn from it.

I was about to move from South Korea to Australia to study, and so I decided to write a bucket list of things I had always wanted to do.

I started a blog, had my hair cut to donate to child tumour patients, and even went travelling by myself. Doing a fake funeral was also one of the things on my bucket list.

It was the last day of January when I did the fake funeral, which was filmed for Dateline.

There were seven people including me: a student who had just passed a university entrance exam, a college student who had just finished his military service, a single mum who was suffering from depression, a man who was having difficulty in his life and a newly married couple.

Everyone had their stories that brought them to the program. Some of their stories were very sad, and I felt sorry for them.

It was approximately a four hour-long program including the main event: lying in a coffin.

Before the program started, they collected participants’ consent, because some people may have medical conditions, such as claustrophobia, that could cause a problem when they get inside the coffin.

For the first 50 minutes, we looked back on our lives. We wrote about the people we care about, and the events that we think were important in our lives. After that, the instructor gave us 40 minutes to make our will or write our last letter to our loved ones.

Christine says the group were encouraged to look back on their lives and think about the people they care about. Source: SBS Dateline

I wrote a short letter for my family. I told my mum and dad that I wish they live ‘their’ life from now on, because I know their life was all about ‘being good parents’. I asked my sister to take good care of my mum and dad. I guess family is what matters to me most.

We dressed in a shroud and went outside for a walk through the forest. When I was following the angel of death, I felt like I was actually dead. I thought about my life again and imagined how the life after death will be. And realised that it is so easy to leave everything behind when I face death.  

We entered a dark hall, where the coffins were ready. By candlelight, everyone read out their suicide notes. Everyone was crying while reading their notes. It was the most emotional part.

However, interestingly, when we sit next to the coffins and get ready to lie in the coffins, we all became so calm.

Then it was time to get in the coffin. The instructor and his assistants tied our hands and legs and covered our eyes. When we were all ready, they closed the coffins.

It was so dark, cold and quiet inside the coffin. For the first few minutes I was nervous because I couldn’t move at all, but as time passed, I became more relaxed and could focus solely on me.

Christine reflects on the fake funeral at a temple. She says it made her focus on the people that she loves. Source: SBS Dateline

    

At first, I thought I would feel so sad to be in the coffin and would be thinking of days that I regret in my life, because before I lay down I cried a lot, thinking of my parents and friends.

However, when I was lying in the coffin, only happy memories with my loved ones went through my mind. That was the very moment that I realised my life was full of happiness and love. It taught me to focus on the most valuable things in my life: the people that I love.

What I learned from this experience is that everyone has their own problems, but at the same time they all have someone who cares very much about them.

Maybe that is why everyone wrote about their families and loved ones in their suicide notes, and not about their successes or failures.

I will never know what the other people in the fake funeral learned or how it made them feel, but everyone was smiling afterwards, maybe because like me, they too thought about the people that care for them and love them.

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Support and Advice

If you’re affected by this story and would like to speak to a professional now for support and advice, phone one of these 24 hour helplines:

• Lifeline: 13 11 14
• Suicide Call Back Service: 1300 659 467
• BeyondBlue: 1300 22 4636
• MensLine Australia: 1300 78 99 78
• Kids Helpline: 1800 55 1800