6:00 - Alarm goes off, skip run because I'm too sleepy. Get up at 6:20.
6:30 - Meditate (spent last night worrying don't know enough for neurology rotation).
7:00 - Shower, dress and eat breakfast while making my lunch. Arrive at work 7:50.
8:00 - Sent to emergency to help 80 year-old woman with severe stroke symptoms.
8:30 - I scribe, order tests, bloods, imaging and find out her identity and medical history.
9:00 - I call her husband and GP, and console this distressed patient who’s unable to form words or move the right side of her body. I tell her things will be okay, even though I don't know they will. She squeezes my hand to say thank you. She is awake and fully understands the situation, but out of her mouth comes gibberish.
9:30 - Stroke patient given potentially brain-saving treatment that also carries risk of catastrophic side effects.
9:45 - Return to ward to complete rounds. Rest of the team is seeing the final patient.
I tell her things will be okay, even though I don't know they will.
10:00 - Consultant arrives for review of three sickest patients on ward.
11:00 - We see the stroke patient again: her limbs are weaker now, I’m sad to see she is worse. While the specialist talks to her family, I notice she’s crying, unable to speak.
11:30 - The intern and I have a list of jobs but we have to go to the weekly departmental meeting. There's catering - free food, yay!.
12:30 - Sent to sister hospital outpatient clinic for the afternoon. I run around trying to get jobs done first so intern not burdened.
12:45 - Discharge a patient, liaise with pharmacist to ensure correct medications provided.
14:00 - Arrive at outpatient clinic - I've never done this before in neurology so I'm nervous. I continue to be paged by the ward to review patients - I pass these on to intern who’s still at our hospital. No bathroom break yet. Lots of patients waiting so I can't go yet. I've barely drank water, so do so now.
14:15 - See first patient, then wait long time for specialist to review my plan. I wish I could hurry because so many waiting to be seen.
15:40-16:30 - See very complex and fascinating neurology patient. Another consultant sees the patient and explains the symptoms. I mentally add five more topics to my study list.
16:38 - Eat packed lunch while I dictate letter. I feel slow because I only saw two patients, but it's my first neurology clinic and I'm learning a lot. Message my intern back at our hospital to ask how he's going. I have a headache.
17:00 - Finish dictating my letters and booking scans and appointments for patients.
17:10 - Unusually, I leave on time! Takes me 20 min to walk home, when finally I can settle my mind. My head hurts. I remember the morning stroke patient, and how much her life changed when she woke up this morning. This is probably one of the worst days in her life. I wonder what she was like before this - she seems like a strong, stoic woman. Like an older version of my mother, the thought of which makes me too upset to continue thinking about this. I decide to stop thinking about the patient. I hope she'll get better with time but fear she may not, and we've done what we can so there is no point in dwelling on how I feel about it. It makes me not want to get too close to her.
I remember the morning stroke patient, and how much her life changed when she woke up this morning. This is probably one of the worst days in her life.
5:30pm - Home early and it’s been a relatively quiet day! Headache still there. Answer emails while my boyfriend makes dinner. I have so much to study.
19:00 - Watch start of a recorded lecture.
19:20 - Dinner while watching light TV.
20:35 - I'm exhausted and I haven't studied enough yet.
20:50 - I can't concentrate on lecture I'm trying to watch. I feel guilty about not helping with dinner, my apartment being dirty, my dog being stuck at home, not exercising, and forgetting to reply to my friend's text messages when I was at work. I get back to study at 21:20
21:50 - I've been reading up on neurology exam but I’m absorbing little because I'm so sleepy. Guiltily decide to head to bed.
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