Warnings signs to watch out for
Sometimes it can be challenging to distinguish between the ‘storm and stress’ that is often a normal part of teenage life and behaviours that pose a genuine cause for concern. There are signs of suicide risk that you can look out for:
- Withdrawal from family, friends or school
- Loss of interest in activities they typically enjoy (e.g., sport)
- Misuse and/or increasing use of alcohol or other drugs
- Dramatic changes in mood
- Impulsive or reckless behaviour, such as engaging in risky activities
- Changes in sleeping pattern
- Change/loss of appetite
- Deliberately hurting themselves (e.g., by scratching, cutting or burning), threatening to hurt themselves or seeking means to hurt themselves (e.g., seeking access to pills)
- Expressing hopelessness
- Expressing that they feel trapped, like there’s no way out
- Expressing that they feel they have no reason for living or that they have no sense of purpose in life
Young people can also experience thoughts of suicide when coping with significant life events, such as:
- Bereavement (particularly if the person died by suicide)
- Break-up of a relationship (romantic relationship or friendship) or other rejection from a significant person
- Family disturbances
- Recent psychiatric hospitalisation
What to do
If you notice some of these warning signs and are worried about a young person, it is best to communicate your concern calmly and compassionately. This is especially important given that young people often find disclosing their distress, and reaching out for help, very challenging. You could say something like, “I’ve noticed that you haven’t seemed like yourself lately. Is everything OK?”
Many of us fall into the habit of listening to respond instead of listening to understand; while the other person is talking, we are busy formulating our response instead of actively listening to what they are sharing with us. The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention invited a crisis response expert to give some tips on active listening.
These tips include:
- Use body language that shows you’re paying attention
- Occasionally offer a summary of what the young person has shared, but in your own words
- Ask questions to clarify points.
It’s important to take the young person seriously – try not to minimise their experience or feelings.
If the conversation leads you to think that the young person is experiencing low mood or feelings of suicide, it is important to ask if they feel they are at risk. Ask them directly and unambiguously. For example, "Many people who feel depressed think about taking their own life, is this something you are thinking about?"
While many people express fears about asking this question, research has consistently found that asking someone if they are thinking about suicide does not increase their risk. In fact, acknowledging and talking about suicide may reduce, rather than increase, thoughts of suicide.
If the young person answers ‘yes’, then don't feel you have to have all the answers. Remain calm and compassionate, and help them to find professional help.
If the young person is thinking about suicide, has made a plan to take their own life, and has the means available to carry out this plan, it is very important that you contact emergency services (ring 000) and wait with the young person until help arrives.
You should never promise to keep thoughts or feelings about suicide a secret. Be sure to tell the young person that you are unable to keep this information secret, even if they seem upset with you.
For parents:
- Having regular, open and honest conversations about feelings is a good way of establishing the groundwork for talking about mental health. Healthy family communication has been shown to reduce young people’s risk-taking and improve their health and well-being. Creating a culture of conversation at home may help parents and young people to act in a preventive, rather than reactive, way.
- Our team at Orygen have prepared information for parents about helping their child to safely navigate social media in relation to their mental health.
- ReachOut Parents have lots of useful information about how you can support your child’s mental health.
- Kids Helpline have information for parents regarding supporting a child who is thinking of suicide.
For teachers and other school staff:
- View Orygen’s webinar on understanding and managing self-harm in a school setting (April 2016).
- Suicide prevention resources from Be You.
- Suicide response resources (i.e., postvention) from Be You.
- Headspace Factsheet: How to talk about suicide with young people (developed for schools after a member of the school community has died by suicide).
For friends:
- Download the #chatsafe guide for young people for communicating safely online about suicide.
- Beyond Blue provide information on having a conversation with someone you're worried about.
- ReachOut provide information about what to do when a friend is suicidal.
If you would like to learn more
If you would like to learn more, you can access the following resources produced by Orygen:
If you need help now
- Headspace is a confidential, free, and secure space where young people aged 12-25 or their family can chat, email or speak on the phone with a qualified youth mental health professional. Contact by phone 1800 650 890 or online.
- Kids Helpline is a free, private and confidential 24/7 phone and online counselling service for young people aged 5-25. Counselling is currently offered by phone 1800 55 1800, Webchat, and email.
- Lifeline is a national charity providing all Australians experiencing a personal crisis with access to 24 hour crisis support and suicide prevention services. You can contact Lifeline via their website or on 13 11 14.
