I live in a 16-person share house. This is what might surprise you

What do you picture when you imagine a housemate? Someone younger or maybe a student in a cheap rental? Insight explores how the 'typical' share house identity has shifted, with more older Australians now finding themselves in house sharing situations. Watch Insight episode Housemates on SBS On Demand.

I usually have to do a mental headcount when people ask how many housemates I have. "Fifteen or 16, depending on the day" is my typical answer.

Often what follows is a look of disbelief and shocked statements like "I could never do that!"

It's also often followed by questions such as: "Isn't there so much conflict?" or "How does that even work?" or "Do you get any privacy?"

About three years ago now, when I was 19, I moved into the 16-person share house in Newcastle, about two hours north of Sydney.

I was living at home in a good location, and I got on well with my family; there was no reason I needed to move out.

But I was intrigued when a room in the big share house my two workmates lived in — and I had heard so much about — became available.

When one of them asked me to move in, I was unsure.

I had those same questions around conflict, lack of privacy — and I was nervous that many of the housemates were older than me. 

But one night, when the house hosted a winter solstice gig, convinced me to move in.

There must have been about a hundred people gathered around campfires in the backyard or dancing in the shed where a live band was performing. We shared home-cooked dhal for dinner and drank mulled wine and hot chai. 

By the evening's end, I knew that I wanted to be part of this community.

Cooking for 16

The house, on a big double-block near the heart of the city, was started almost two decades ago by an environmentalist couple who wanted to use their inheritance to create and support sustainable, communal housing.

The house is just around the corner from my work. And sometimes, with a few of my colleagues who also live there, I go home to eat lunch.

We sit in the sun by the veggie patch — other housemates often stopping for a chat as they wheel their bikes into the bike shed.

One of the biggest joys of the home is our fully communal food. We all pay $45 per week to a food kitty and take turns doing the household shop at the local farmers' market and supermarket.

Cooking for a dozen people is a big undertaking and does take some getting used to. But the beauty of this cooking roster is that I only cook once a fortnight and I get to enjoy other people's home-cooked meals almost every other night of the week.

It's not always 16 people around the dinner table. Sometimes it's as few as four, and other times the presence of a few guests pushes us above 16, and we pack around the table elbow-to-elbow.

Intergenerational connection

One of the things I was most nervous about was the age diversity of the housemates. Currently, it's between 18 and 53 years old.

However, this age range has turned out to be such a special part of shared living.

I've learnt so much from my older housemates about cooking, living out of home, and broader lessons about life.

I've also grown a lot closer to them than I ever expected — an intergenerational connection that feels rare among my friends.

When I first moved into the house at 19, I was feeling disconnected and craving more connection.

Between the rising cost of living, our increasing reliance on technology, COVID-19 lockdowns, busy lives, and rolling global crises, finding the time and energy to live a life built on deep human connections felt increasingly hard.

Whilst my childhood was full of beautiful community, I felt that, as a society, we were losing that feeling. We seemed too focused on chasing the newest, hottest thing — and never-ending ways to make our lives more convenient. 

But this house felt like a window into a different way of living: a world that centres relationships and community, the sharing of resources and workloads.

Maintaining high expectations

Don't get me wrong, living with 15 people isn't always easy or convenient. And we have high expectations of each other to ensure our house functions smoothly and harmoniously. 

We all must do one house chore per week, attend monthly working bees where we do maintenance, garden and improvement tasks; and we attend monthly house meetings where we check in on chores, plan events and make decisions as a collective.

We are strict about people cleaning up after themselves in communal spaces; if you have a cup of tea, you can't just leave your mug in the sink because if we all did that there would quickly become a huge pile of dishes.

We try to communicate clearly and give feedback to each other frequently and kindly.

There are days when I come home from a big day at work and don't feel up for a shared dinner and helping with the clean-up afterwards; and sometimes having breakfast in a bustling kitchen feels overwhelming when I'm tired. It can sometimes be hard to squeeze in my big cook-up when I'm busy.

But for us, when we share daily tasks, we find connection as well as space for other things that can otherwise be hard to fit into busy lives. 

In fact, I've managed to convince others in my life of the benefits of living in such a communal space, and my sister has also joined the home.

So, when someone looks at me with confusion or even concern when I tell them that I live with 15 people, I say, come round for dinner, and maybe you'll get a taste of how harmonious communal living can be.

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