The law that makes me wish my daughter’s alleged murderer was still alive

A coronial inquest found Sandi Harvey's daughter was murdered. But she'll never know if the alleged killer was found guilty or not.

Sandi Harvey's daughter Leisl Smith disappeared 13 years ago after meeting up with her alleged killer. Source: SBS

What happens when someone vanishes and what questions do they leave behind? Insight explores why some might choose to go missing, while also asking what it's like for those left wondering — families, friends, police. Watch Insight episode Gone Missing on SBS On Demand.

Stream free On Demand

Gone Missing

episode • Insight • 

News And Current Affairs • 

52m

episode • Insight • 

News And Current Affairs • 

52m

My daughter Leisl disappeared 19 August 2012 when she was 23 years old. Her body was never found.

Leisl met up with a man she had been intimately involved with at Tuggerah Railway Station on the NSW Central Coast the day she went missing.

They knew each other from the horse community. He was a farrier (a specialist in equine hoof care) and almost double her age.

CCTV showed Leisl parking her car, talking with him, then getting into his car. Several different cameras showed that the car travelled towards Merriwa, more than 200km/h further north-west.

This was the last time she was seen alive.

I would never know

When the man was charged in 2018 with Leisl's alleged abduction and murder, I was hoping for a confession. Or at least a location where I could find her.

A confession or location never came.

Justice never came.

He denied having seen her, despite photo evidence showing her in his car.

Watch your favourite Insight episodes around the clock on SBS On Demand's dedicated Insight channel.

Liesl was 23 years old when she went missing. Source: Supplied

The judge-alone Supreme Court trial in 2022 lasted for 68 days. I was there for almost all of them, watching him.

But the day before the verdict was to be announced, the defendant died by suicide.

The trial judge explained that because the accused had died, the trial had come to an end and she couldn't deliver her verdict. Under common law, a defendant must be alive so they can defend themselves and be held accountable.

I felt like I had fallen into an abyss when I heard the news.

I was devastated: I would never know what the judge had decided.

Continuing the search

It's been 13 years since Leisl disappeared, and finding her is still my life's motivation.

I continue to put up posters and hand out flyers in places I visit, both locally and interstate.

Surely, someone saw or knows something.

I maintain the Find Leisl Smith Facebook page with my friend — posting on her birthday, Easter, Christmas and the day she went missing.

I also post when I'm feeling lost without her; this makes memories flood back.

Sandi says her daughter had a strong connection with horses. Source: Supplied

Despite her teeth chattering and her lips going blue, Leisl would swim in the pool during the winter months.

She always thought she was okay, even when I worried about her.

Leisl also had a real affinity with animals and was looking forward to her mare giving birth.

But she never got to see the foal.

There is never closure

People talk about closure, but there is never closure.

Finding Leisl will just bring more questions without answers. This complicated grief is probably similar for others with missing loved ones.

I know the void in my heart will never be filled.

Although the judge has not been able to hand down a verdict, I have recently found some relief.

In September this year, a coronial inquest found that Leisl's death "was a homicide". It found that the defendant killed her and that her remains were likely "in the Goulburn River National Park or its vicinity" — three hours from where Leisl met up with him the day she was last seen alive.

I took a deep breath hearing this. People were finally going to stop saying she was still alive.

I also vehemently agreed with the Deputy State Coroner's recommendation that there be a criminal justice legal review surrounding the release of verdicts in cases where the defendant dies.

Not knowing the judge's decision still weighs on my mind.

Where is the endpoint?

I have been asked if there is a timeframe or endpoint to my search. Neither are relevant questions if she continues to be missing.

I still have her poster on my car. It will be removed when she is returned to me.

Until I've got somewhere where I can put her remains — even if it's a finger bone — I will keep going.

I will only stop when my Leisl is home.

Readers seeking crisis support can ring Lifeline on 13 11 14 or text 0477 13 11 14, the Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467 and Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800 (for young people aged up to 25).

More information and support with mental health is available at beyondblue.org.au and on 1300 22 4636.

For the latest from SBS News, download our app and subscribe to our newsletter.