My son begged me not to tell anyone he was being bullied. I didn't listen

Nama Winston's son was being bullied over his sexuality. She told his school principal, whose response "blew her away".

Nama Winston says she knew she had to intervene when her son's bullying got worse. Source: Supplied

How are parents raising resilient kids in an age of constant judgement and conflicting advice? Insight hears from parents navigating generational differences, social pressures and childhood baggage. Watch Insight episode Modern Parenting on SBS On Demand.

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Modern Parenting

episode • Insight • 

News And Current Affairs • 

51m

episode • Insight • 

News And Current Affairs • 

51m

One night I walked in on my then-12-year-old son Winston sobbing his heart out in a way I’d never seen.

He'd just started high school, and a bunch of kids had decided to taunt him about his sexuality.

When he maintained a poker face, their behaviour had escalated into cruel notes in class and publicly dehumanising acts on the school bus.

That day he'd been called him names, and punched on the way home.

That’s the night I told my son the truth: that 12 and 13 year olds who behave cruelly need special support.

I told him they're difficult for us to understand because we don't crap on others to make ourselves feel good.

Winston begged me not to speak to the school, worried that staff might confront the bully, which could make things worse for him.

But at this point, I knew I had to advocate for my son.

An immediate plan

The next morning, I made an appointment with the school principal.

To my utter shock, his fury was strong and his reaction swift — but not in the way I expected.

Nama Winston says she was astounded by her school's swift response to her son's bullying. Source: Supplied

Winston's safety was his priority and he immediately implemented a plan, which he explained at a morning staff meeting.

Winston was to be subtly walked from one classroom to another and to the bus at the end of the day. He was given access to a separate bathroom, and a safe room for recess and lunch.

Rather than singling him out as being vulnerable, they had empowered him.

Having heard and seen so much about bullying as a parenting editor, the school's response blew me away.

Instead of feeling hopeless, my son was amazed to learn that the staff cared and had his back.

I can't tell you how crucial that was to the outcome.

I've never been so glad to have spoken up.

But too many other Australian parents tell me they've been scared to do the same.

Smashing a taboo

Even in 2025, bullying remains an unspoken taboo.

After more than a decade of writing about raising kids, I've repeatedly heard: "My kid is being bullied at school, but I can’t tell anyone."

Frustrated, stressed and often desperate, parents have told me they feel gagged from sharing their child's bullying experiences with both other parents and schools.

Recently, when I spoke about my son's bullying experience on the Insight episode Modern Parenting, two parents approached me afterwards to say it was a relief to hear others had gone through the same struggle of being unsure of what to do.

Nama (left) says her son Winston's (right) experience of bullying made her realise the topic remained taboo among parents. Source: Supplied

So why is talking about the bullying of their child so difficult for so many parents? Why the silence?

Here are the reasons I've been told:

"He’s worried about retaliation from the gang."

"She doesn’t want the rest of the class to learn about the nickname and start using it, too."

"They are ashamed about being bullied. They think they’re a loser."

Parents have also admitted they have little faith in schools to act, with one saying: "What’s the point? It will just make things worse, or they will ignore it."

One friend even confessed to me: "I don’t want the other mums telling their kids about it, like it’s gossip."

She was afraid they would also judge her parenting for having a "weak son".

No parent wants to create more problems for their child who is already struggling and hurting.

I empathise with them without judgement; I understand what a delicate and intense experience bullying is for every family.

But suffering in silence means the taboo continues.

Suffering in silence means the taboo continues.

Nama Winston

In the countless messages I've received from parents over my career, none have mentioned a response to bullying as an opportunity for a victim to thrive.

But now I've seen how this is possible.

We must break the bullying taboo to create effective change.

And realise that in doing so, we’re not "dobbing" on a bully.

Nor are we putting our child at greater risk. Instead, we're empowering them.

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