For Katie, a 35-year-old mum of two, her experience of postnatal psychosis manifested as frightening auditory hallucinations when her youngest child was six weeks old.
“I remember it very clearly. She was laying in her bassinet and I heard this voice like Gollum from Lord of the Rings saying, ‘She’s precious, she’s precious’ … it was telling me to hurt her,” Katie said.
“It was really distressing – I’ve never been so scared in all my life because as a mother you’re supposed to love and protect your child and here I was hearing this voice telling me to harm my baby and I didn’t know how to tell anyone or what to do.”
Postnatal psychosis is not the same as postnatal depression. It’s much rarer, and considered a serious mental illness affecting one to two women in every 1,000 after childbirth, according to PANDA (Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Australia).
PANDA, a national network supporting mothers and their families, says the condition can come on very suddenly and affect any mother, including those without any history of mental illness.
“There is still a general lack of awareness of postnatal psychosis across Australia,” PANDA CEO, Julie Borninkhof said.
“One of the key symptoms for mum is that she loses touch with reality and can experience delusional thoughts, paranoia and even hallucinations. As a result, there can be a risk to both her and her child.”
When Katie first started hearing the Gollum-like voice, she found it difficult to confide in anyone except her partner, due to shame and embarrassment.
“I felt like a failure as a mother, as a person, so I didn’t even tell my family” Katie said. “I was petrified if I told my GP he would take my children away from me.”
But the voice was relentless. It also started criticising Katie’s parenting, further eroding her self-esteem and confidence. Katie eventually told her GP about it several months later.
“It took a while for me to get to the point of seeing it as an illness and trying different treatments and medications, which was key in helping me to move forward,” Katie explained.
With support from medical professionals, along with exercise and maintaining a healthy lifestyle, Katie no longer hears the voice.
“I’d like people to understand that having postnatal psychosis or hearing voices is like having diabetes or cancer – it’s an illness,” Katie said.
“I’d really like to have more conversations around our mental health, and particularly around hearing voices, which is such a taboo subject and it shouldn’t be.
“The more we talk and share and create open spaces to discuss it, the more people will seek treatment.”
Postpartum Psychosis - the facts
Postnatal or Postpartum Psychosis is a serious mental illness that can develop in mothers soon after childbirth, causing major changes in mood and behaviour.
The word ‘psychosis’ refers to a loss of sense of reality. If you have postpartum psychosis, you may be seeing or hearing things that are not there (hallucinations), feeling everyone is against you (paranoia) and powerful delusions (beliefs that clearly conflict with reality). Women with postnatal psychosis need specialised psychiatric treatment to get better.
Symptoms may include:
- Extreme sudden mood swings
- Being aggressive or violent
- Being very agitated
- Speaking in a disordered or nonsensical way
- Irrational or delusional thoughts or beliefs
- Hallucinations and changes in sense perception (smelling, hearing or seeing things that are not there)
- Feeling paranoid
- Finding it hard to concentrate
- Not being able to sleep, sometimes for days
- Responding in an unusual or inappropriate way towards the baby
- Thinking of or planning to harm yourself or your baby
If you suspect you, or someone you know, may have postnatal psychosis, call one of these services for advice:
PANDA (Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Australia) — 1300 726 306. Beyond Blue — 1300 22 4636. Pregnancy, Birth and Baby — 1800 882 436. You can also get help from your GP or hospital emergency department.
