In 1994, after a lifetime of pain and fear, I ended up in a place where suicide was a constant thought and there were two choices for me: either do it, or change everything.
I chose to live, and to do that, I had to do something that would affect my whole family and friends.
With the help of some understanding doctors and a lot of counselling, I started living as a woman and underwent gender reassignment surgery.
What I was not prepared for was the reaction from my family.
Karen Hewitt with son Josh. Source: Insight
My mother did not speak to me for the last 15 years of her life. To me that was incomprehensible.
I received a phone call to be told my brother had passed away suddenly, “but do not come to the funeral as you are not welcome.” This was to echo twice more in my life.
I was never invited to any family celebrations after I became Karen, as I was an embarrassment to them. Most of my family and friends walked out on me.
My immediate family, though - my two children - walked by my side and sometimes were leading me when I struggled, despite the fact they had so much more to lose. They lost a father to someone they never knew existed, growing up.
'Selfish' was the most common word used and yes, I was selfish. What I did was for me alone I was the only one with anything to gain.
And I gained everything: my sanity, peace and contentment that I could finally be me.
Today, I live quietly as Karen, working in the aged care industry where I am respected and loved by my co-workers, residents and their families.
Being transgender is hard enough without having loved ones walk away.
Knowledge is the key to understanding and understanding is the key to acceptance.
Having a transgender person in your family accepted for who they are is a much better option than grieving the loss of them in your life. I know that my children and those who choose to be in my world are far better off for knowing and accepting Karen for who she is today.
[videocard video="629302851567"]
