'I can hear my parents cough': The benefits and challenges of moving in with family for good

While multi-generational living can come with a lot of benefits, others say most of our houses simply aren't designed for it.

Some Australians are changing their living arrangements and the shapes of their lives by moving into multi-generational homes. Source: SBS

For Kim, a freelance journalist and filmmaker, the decision to move in with his family for the long-term wasn't just about the price of property.

While he hasn't lived with his parents since he was 20 and he hadn't exactly planned to do so again, at 44 he is now expecting to move into a large property with his girlfriend, parents and younger sister, who lives with disabilities, in June.

"It kind of felt like it would tick a lot of boxes for the care of my sister, for the care of my parents and then, of course, you have this other element being that me and my girlfriend don’t have any savings, so we couldn’t buy a place," he told The Feed.

Kim also says his plans could give his family some long-term assurance as his parents age.

"This would kind of give us more security so that as my parents’ health might deteriorate as they get older, we kind of have the logistics in place rather than having to set up a room for a parent or something like that."

Is the multi-generational home growing in popularity?

Some Australians are changing their living arrangements and the shapes of their lives by moving into multi-generational homes.

Dr Edgar Liu, a senior research fellow from the UNSW City Futures Research Centre, says that while multi-generational houses are more commonplace in other parts of the world, around one in five Australians live in multi-generational households.

"Twenty per cent is ... quite a significant number," he told The Feed.

And for city dwellers, that number is closer to one in four, according to Liu’s most recent data analysis, which ended around 2016.

A report by the Australian Bureau of Statistics published in 2024 projected that by 2046, the number of people living with relatives would grow significantly across all types of households, including families with children and childless couples.

But what are the drivers?

While house price considerations are certainly a factor — the most recent house price report from Domain shows house prices in Sydney have reached $1.7 million and $1.1 million in Melbourne — Liu said his research found the choice to move in with family for good is driven by other considerations, too.

"Half the people said the finance was at least part of the reason why they did it — but they also talked a lot about the cost of care. So, both the cost of childcare and the cost of aged care and disability care being quite prohibitive for a lot of the families," he said.

Fears around the aged care sector were also found to be prominent reasons that people took on these carer roles in homes.

Kim says his parents are at a stage in life where "living with family would meet a lot of their emotional needs" and says his mum in particular "really dislikes the idea of getting put into an old person’s home".

The problems with houses for multi-generational living

The properties that can easily accommodate multiple generations can be hard to come by in Australia.

Australians are requesting more designs to retrofit family homes for this purpose, according to architect and owner of Burleigh Beach Designs, Brett McDonald.

"You can have three generations of family living together in the same home, it’s just a matter of who’s got what space and how it’s sort of laid out and how people enter the building," McDonald said.

"It’s just a matter of smart planning with the existing layout."

However, for those who don’t have the space or the resources to renovate homes, it can be the case they just have to move.

Liu said the demand for more space has pushed multigenerational homes to the fringes of cities.

Josh, who lives with his wife, daughter and 78-year-old father on the Gold Coast, says he’s lucky to have the space for his dad and three adults to fit comfortably into his four-bedroom home due to its multiple living rooms.

"If there’s four of us in the house, all four of us can sit in a room and watch a different TV if we want to," he said.

Others have found fitting multiple generations under one more roof a bit more frustrating.

Amanda, who has been living in a house in Tamborine, south of Brisbane, with her husband, two children and parents for over a decade, says that while their situation works well and has been a mutually beneficial arrangement, the house itself is far from perfect.

Amanda lives in the top floor of the house with her family, while her parents live separately on the ground floor, which was added before they bought the property.

However, she says "noise was not a consideration" when the downstairs portion of the house was developed.

"You really are completely separate, but I can hear my parents cough downstairs," she said.

Amanda also says her children have been slowly trained to walk more softly to avoid disturbing her parents.

Better for grandparents’ health

However, some people say there have also been unexpected benefits to these living arrangements.

Josh, 42, says it’s been heartening to watch the relationship between his daughter and father grow and sees it as healthy for them to interact with one another.

"It’s a different generation. They have different thoughts on things," he said.

Despite occasionally having to 'correct' things his father tells his daughter that Josh sees as outdated, he can also see them giving one another fresh perspective on the world.

Recent research from the Netherlands has found grandparents who care for grandchildren score higher on memory and verbal fluency tests compared with those who do not.

However, Josh also says his Maltese heritage may also contribute to his feelings about multigenerational housing and other Australian families may not be as readily accepting of the idea.

"I think in European and other places, it happens more often than other cultural backgrounds."

Kim agrees that culture plays a big part in attitudes towards this type of living.

"My dad is Vietnamese and my family in Vietnam live generally kind of three generations to a home. When I go and visit them, I stay with them and so you see that and they all seem relatively happy."