• Blackfella culture isn't always embedded in ancient tradition. (NITV)Source: NITV
SATIRE: Sure, being the oldest continuing culture on the planet is cool, but have you ever had curried sausages?
By
Lowanna Grant, Grayson McCarthy-Grogan

18 Mar 2019 - 4:18 PM  UPDATED 19 Mar 2019 - 9:36 AM

Whether you’re a Murri, Koori, Noongar or anything in between, these are universal signs that you’re Aboriginal in Australia.

1. When you pass another blackfulla on the street, you do the universal head-nod of recognition 

2. Your household includes your extended family

3. You’ve been called upon in school/uni to give an opinion on Indigenous affairs, culture or history

4. You either ignore or emphasise the letter ‘H’

5. You've taught your gubba/migaloo mates a swearword in language

6. You know what this key is for

7. You have a ‘white voice’ for phone calls  

8. You don’t believe people when they say they’re “just around the corner” or “two minutes away”

9. You frequently tell people you’re “just around the corner” or “two minutes away”

10. You call your cousins your brother or sister 

11. You grew up on miscellaneous 'and rice' for dinner 

12. Your favourite was curried sausages and rice

13. This image gives you PTSD

 


14. You've given one non-Indigenous friend the title of an honourary blackfullah 

15. You've told your teacher that something was "cultural" to avoid getting in trouble

16. You have a tattoo of your tribe or totem

17. You call Dan Murphy's "Uncle Dan's"

18. If your team isn't playing, you'll end up supporting whichever team has the most blackfullahs

19. You have to borrow your own clothes back off your siblings/cousins

20. You own a pair of these earrings

21. Beef is nothing without salt

22. You claim at least one footy star is your cousin 

23. You’ve been told you're ‘too pretty to be Aboriginal’

24. You squeeze lemon on chicken-flavoured potato chips

25. The first thing friends or family say when they come over is “make us a cuppa” 

26. Country classics like Merle Haggard and George Strait were the soundtrack to your childhood, and you know all the lyrics to Neon Moon by Brooks & Dunn 

27. You can always spot a blackfulla house because of all the cars parked out the front

28. Before heading to the shops, your parents/grandparents give you the ‘when-we-get-in-here-don't-ask-for-nothing-or-you’ll-get-a-flogging’ talk

29. You're too afraid to watch scary movies after dark

30. Your office drawer snacks consist of two min noodles, tea bags, chips, bag of lollies, muesli bars

31. Your other blackfulla work mates help themselves to and never replace your office drawer snacks

32. You have one of these baking dishes in your cupboard 

33. You take 'shame leave' after mucking up at a work function

34. You don't answer unknown numbers

35. You've had to sleep in head-to-toe formations with your siblings/cousins

36. Growing up, you had to be home before the street lights turned on

37. You've rocked up to a family cookout with nothing, and left with at least two plates

38. Words like Goodways, Shame, Hole, Bless, Whichway, Gammin are used in your everyday vocabulary

39. Going to the shower or car is always a race against your siblings/cousins

40. You've had the hots for someone and later found out that you're related to them

41. You call the Labor Day long weekend the Koori Knockout long weekend

42. Devon and tomato sauce sandwiches helped you grow-up strong 

43. You travel with, or store your clothes in, one of these bags

44. You know of someone who is a 'Big Dorris'

45. You, yourself are a 'Big Dorris'

46. Growing up, bathtime was always shared with cousins (and your grandparents still have the photos)

47. You get followed around stores by 'shop assistants' aka: Security

48. Singing along to 'Hotel California' is a road trip ritual 

49. Your mum calls you "mum", your dad calls you "dad", your aunty calls you "aunty" and your uncle calls you "uncle"

50. The Koori Grape Vine has a wider reach than social media — you've learned this the hard way  

 

Lowanna Grant is Wiradjuri/Arrente woman and NITV Project Coordinator. Follow Lowanna @LowannaGrant

Grayson McCarthy-Grogan is a Yanyuwa, Garrawa and Kuku Yalanji man and NITV Digital Producer. Follow Grayson @GraysonMcG