It can be challenging to get children to open up about anything, but especially when they are being bullied at school.
When Lara's son joined a new school in the last term of grade six, the school promised to support his integration. This helped her feel comfortable entrusting him to their care. But the school did little when his new classmates called him names and excluded him from activities, moving away whenever he sat down.
I'm helpless. There's nothing I could do to help my son. Who keeps saying it's part and parcel of being in high school.Lara
Ruth’s challenge was different. She had a very strong relationship with her son. He would come home every day and list the incidents of bullying he had experienced. But despite the open communication between them Ruth felt powerless without any support from the school.
Ruth Brown is South Australian mum with a purpose. She is one of Bully Zero's ambassadors, committed to raising awareness of the impact of bullying on school students.
He just didn’t want to be here anymore. He believed that he was worthless..... a piece of crap like he is getting told every day, and he just gave up.
Becky's son suffers from scoliosis and a rare brain disorder. He requires significant care and patience to allow him to express himself. The bullying he faced at school was a source of great anxiety for Becky. She felt he was targeted because of his special needs. She was unable to protect him, and he was unable to protect himself or even ask for help.
Kids would run away from him. In the schoolyard. You would find parents sitting there talking about their kids’ birthday party, and he was the only one that wasn't invited to it.
The bullying endured by these families had a massive impact on their wellbeing. So why are schools often ineffective in addressing bullying on their campuses? What’s getting in the way?
Brendan Maher, a former principal and teacher with forty years experience in Victorian schools says that a culture of bullying can take many years to eradicate. Schools must commit to a program that enables honest discussion of bullying and the issues surrounding it with the whole school community.
But he also says that bullying in schools reflects a wider societal issue. Schools will struggle to implement values that are not supported in the general community.
Rand Faied is a family counsellor, mentor, and dispute resolution practitioner. She has helped many parents overcome their trauma from bullying. She offers this advice for struggling parents.
It's okay to not be okay. It's okay to go and seek help. It's okay to talk about your emotions and understand them and learn how to manage them. Our children will copy our reaction to things. So, we'll need to learn ourselves first how to manage our own emotions.
If you or someone you know need mental health support, you can call Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636 or visit www.beyondblue.org.au
Lifeline provides crisis support 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for all ages. Call 13 11 14.
Harmful is a six-part SBS podcast series that asks how we can better tackle bullying in our schools, workplaces and online. Hear personal testimonies that reveal what motivates bullies, what support victims need, and what it takes to heal.
Harmful is hosted by Wiradjuri woman and Science and Technology journalist Rae Johnston, and produced by Maram Ismail from SBS Arabic24.
