I sat late at night listening to a debate no mother should have to hear.
My teenage daughter was trying to decide whether to proceed with the criminal proceedings against those who changed her life forever or not. I sat holding back tears.
I went to bed that night unable to sleep, deeply troubled by the fact that if we discontinue the case we will never get to see justice for the horrendous suffering of our child who was kidnapped and mercilessly raped by three adult men in a park in Geelong in November 2016.
They unleashed untold horror on my 14 -year-old girl.
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Whilst the apprehension of the offenders and investigation of the case was difficult for all of us, the Victorian Police through the Sexual Assault and Child Abuse Team (SOCAT) were exemplary. It certainly made a difference for us having dedicated and experienced police who treated *Amy and *Tony (my husband and her dad) and I with respect and integrity.
It was when the case was handed over to the Office of Public Prosecutions in Victoria (OPP) things changed.
No suppression order was in place during the bail applications, and graphic sexual detail was aired in open court and published by the media. The OPP described this an ‘oversight’ but for us it was devastating. Amy was distraught and suffered nightmares and flashbacks and had to take time off school. My usually cuddly, giggly, active kid, stayed curled up in bed unable to face the world. To see her so low was unbearable.
The OPP could have, and should have, prevented this.
The presiding magistrate could have and should have prevented this.
Source: Insight
All it needed was a proceedings suppression order which are put in place to prevent ‘undue distress or humiliation to victims of sexual assault’. No-one in that court room thought about the impacts on our child, no-one gave her any thought or any care. Putting in place mandatory suppression orders for all sexual assault victims of material that is distressful or humiliating would save other women from this awful oversight.
People ask us why Amy discontinued the case. She wanted to see the perpetrators have consequences for their crimes, to be held accountable. She wanted to protect other women from them and she wanted to stand up, call out their behaviour as an example to other girls and women. But in the end, it was all too hard.
It was statements by the QC who would represent the case in court that really sealed the decision not to proceed. I will never forget the two powerful and frightening things she said. Firstly, she told us that the court case would be ‘brutal’. It would be three to five days of Amy being cross-examined by three different defence barristers relentlessly grilling her with the same questions again and again and again, in order to confuse her and undermine her and assassinate her character.
She also said that she believed Amy, the police believed her, the fact the case was successful at the committal hearing demonstrated there was a case for the perpetrators to answer but… she said… the court hearing isn’t about truth.
She was appalled that only one in 10 reported rape cases got a conviction.
It was an incredible punch.
A psychologist also said the trial would retraumatise her, re-victimise her and could undo all the hard work Amy had put into her recovery, to moving on with her life. The process had consumed her and we knew that the court cases would drag on into her final year of school and would have a profound impact on her. Amy wants to do well in her final year and the court case would have sapped her energy and time and there was no guarantee of a conviction.
When Amy researched the conviction rates for rape cases she couldn’t believe they were so low and that the prosecution of sexual assaults was so difficult. She was appalled that only one in 10 reported rape cases got a conviction.
And so, after days of agonising, we walked away.
But the thing that stays with me most is Amy’s question, her plea, “How do we stop this happening to other girls”. This question jack hammers in my head.
So many people have expressed to me how appalled they are about what happened Amy and stress that their husbands, partners, dads, brothers, sons or they themselves are not like that and that’s the case – most men don’t harm women, the real issue is how do we make a culture so that all men respect women, treat women fairly as equals.
If all of us make this a conscious part of every BBQ, every family gathering, every catch up with mates, every school yard and work place, every part of every day, then the attitudes and behaviours of violent men such as those who ‘allegedly’ raped my child will become a part of history.
If not, there will be more mothers like me, watching their daughter trying to decide if they should put their lives on hold and go to trial seeking justice for horrendous crimes against them or leap back and let the chance for justice go.
*All names in this story have been changed
Support services
National
Sexual Assault & Domestic Violence National Help Line
1800 Respect (1800 737 732)
